Hi, just thought I'll pop in to say hi girlfromoz, I'm probably a lot closer to your timezone than some of the folks here, and I'll chip in a little bit of support for the hell you are going through for what it's worth.
Jenjam's points are good, as is so much of the advice you'll find here. I wish I found this much earlier when I was in the lowest depths of my hell. Followed some of the techniques even though I had not read about it then, and screwed up royally on some things I did not know then.
Cheers,
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.