D1 was doing well this morning. She got me to pick her up and hold her while resting her head on my shoulder. I put her back down and she played for a moment, but when I said "bye" she came running up to me again.
She didn't cry when I left this morning. I think that is good as long as her routine isn't interrupted.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I'm also seriously considering a vasectomy. That would probably be unfair if I met someone in the future who wanted kids... I just don't think I could handle this again.
I hope you wait on that for a year or so. I've read you shouldn't make major life decisions when you're going through death or divorce. I think in a year or so you may feel completely differently, esp. if you do wind up with someone that wants kids. And if you feel the same, you could always do it then.
I'm on AD's too; I think it does help you focus on just one day at a time which is prob. good. Karen
Yesterday with D1 went well. Pickup at MIL's was a bit more subdued although they took great pains to be nice. I can only assume that her attorney has given her the news.
MIL made a big deal out of W now planning to go to college, etc. which sounds nice but at this point it seems obvious that posturing is beginning, more on that later.
Anyway, D1 and I went to the mall for a short trip. She fell and bumped her head so I had to console her with that, but otherwise she was doing fine. I took her to visit some family and met a new cousin I didn't know I had up in the area. We all chatted for a bit, and then I took D1 home so she could take a nap. W stayed true to her word and gave me the extra 30 minutes we had agreed upon the past week.
Of course, when they came to get D1 they didn't come directly into my home as usual. They stood there, and then W actually made a request of me instead of a demand, which is the first time I've heard that since... I don't know.
She asked "Would it be okay with you for me to get D1 next Saturday from 1-4 since she has been invited to a baby shower." She then said I could make up the time on the following Tuesday or something.
At this point MIL stepped back and said "This is between ya'll so I'm not a part of it."
Bemused I counter-offered that I would give her D1 the entire day if I could go ahead and get her the following Saturday/Sunday. This works out fine for me because I have some traveling I have to do.
Of course a week ago she was claiming I was a rapist... but since the Judge isn't buying that kind of crap I think they are starting to approach me a little more thoughtfully at this point.
I did tell her I expected it in writing. She said "That is fine."
No argument... no "yeah but" and no confrontation. She held her ground on not giving me extra hours, but that is immaterial.
So what did I learn? They are probably upset that they lost the prior motion hearing, and badly. They are starting to become concerned about what I have on her - leading to the new remade image of working together, etc. And they are only wanting to work with me so long as it benefits them.
So... I learned I'm a cynic. However - this is progress so I will take it for what it is and show as much good faith as I can. It would be so easy to just say "I thought I was a rapist abuser why are you even asking me for things?" but I'm going to take the high road.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Extremely tired lately. Just getting used to these AD and one of which is used to treat insomnia. I'm not focusing on the negative which is nice.
I have been sad about a few definite things lately, not even my M - just was reminiscing about times with my FIL who passed away last year while I was looking through photos.
New L seems to be on top of things. W's evaluation is scheduled for August 10. All of my evidence that W believes no longer exists was mailed to the Dr for use in the evaluation.
We will see how the testing shows up.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 was doing well this morning. She had some crackers and other snacks she had hidden away for later I guess, and when I showed up she smiled and pulled them out and started munching on them. I held her for a little while until it was time for her to eat.
I reviewed W's deposition yesterday and came up with 13 pages of notes. Going to review those and send to my attorney.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 came crawling to me this morning extremely happy to see me. She reached up towards me and I picked her up to my shoulder and she rested her forehead against mine. I kissed her on the cheek and she started reaching for a pop tart. The daycare worker tore a piece off and she snacked on it, directing me where to carry her around the room by pointing and leaning. I walked her to the window, and I walked her around the room. She got me to hold her the entire time, nearly 30 minutes or so.
I saw W who looked fairly unhappy and didn't pay me more than a glance.
I recently uncovered some evidence I don't want to go into at the moment which gives me a much clearer picture of when the affair started, and how long it has been going on - which is around the time I suspected it was going on anyway.
It is a piece of the puzzle, but an important piece that if we can get introduced will poke further holes in her cover story. It is also shocking and saddening to see it in black and white...
I am sad... but I spoke to my IC yesterday about recent events and got my head on straight in terms of priorities.
I know she was having an affair... but actually knowing more of the facts does trouble me. But I just don't know what to feel.
I was holding D1 this morning and sort of wanted to cry... but I just smiled and held her and told her how much I love her.
I'm going to get my boys tomorrow... they looked at her as a mother... but she doesn't even have the time of day for them currently.
I'm hopeful her evaluation happens and goes well.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Went out of town. W's evaluation is tomorrow. Won't see D1 until at least Tuesday.
I imagine I've done all I can do... will see how the evaluation goes. I think I've got a lot of evidence regardless, but I'm really ready for this to be over with one way or the other.
I think as you told me early on, W is only going to snap out of her funk once she does hit rock bottom. There is no reasoning with an infidel.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
