I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

Thanks so much guys, I'm so grateful for all of your support! I feel much, much better today. But I know I'm going to feel depressed tomorrow because my other brother and his wife (they visit every weekend) leave tomorrow and I always feel sad because the house is empty and quiet again. I don't like the silence in this house, its too eerie. Can't play music too loud because my mom is still recovering from surgery.

Anyway, I just returned my bike to Wal-Mart. Boohooooo. But its Ok. I have an extra hundred bucks now. Oh! Crazy stuff. You know how I said I put stuff up on ebay, the rest of the stuff that was left over from my business? Well in that last few emails, he mentioned my ebay items and how they were looking good and hope I made a lot of money from them. Thats like the first time EVER that he has looked/snooped at something I did. I hope he doesn't know the password to it. Yikes, he might. Anyway, I don't know if he checks my facebook like I do or not. I'm sure he does. And of course he knows I do. But it just gave me some sort of satisfaction knowing that he IS curious about what I have been doing and have checked up on me that one time..

Enough about that. I'm in a good mood right now. Lots of stuff to do tomorrow that should keep me busy for a long while. Will aslo squeeze in a walk as well to the post office lugging all my packages. Good workout!! The best thing about this walk to the PO is passing by this small run down auto repair shop and they have like 3 small vintage cars in red and yellow and I absolutely adore them. They are SO cute! Even though I don't drive, I can imagine myself in them with the top down and my hair blowing in the wind! I'm so going to get me one of those when I learn how to drive!

I'm really proud of myself for not taking a nap because I feel sleepy now and its perfect. I can sleep in a few minutes and wake up early and start working on all my projects. Going to make it a good day tomorrow despite the house going quiet and lonely again. Lots of stuff to do, only 3 weeks left before I move!! I'm so excited, I can't wait! I've been waiting for awhile for this to come my way and my perseverance paid off!

Thank you to everyone who has chimed in about NOT EMAILING THE H! Because I feel so much better when I dont. This is the first time ever that he will not get a reply from me. I wonder how he is going to take it. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back with something like .. "well I guess this is a sign that you don't want anything to do with me anymore etc etc and I guess I'm going back to Ireland since you wont sign the papers, i'm sorry it turned out this way ...etc etc!"

I'm quite excited to see how he reacts to my lack of communication. He always expects a VERY LONG email from me RIGHT AFTER I receive his email. This is a complete 180 for me and I hope the effects aren't negative. But I know it takes A LOT of time. I just feel like it I have a deadline .. AUG 31st because that's when he has to leave. But theres no way we are going to solve anything in that timeframe so I shouldn't even think about it. As of right now, I have to move on and continue living my life as if he is no longer a part of it because to be honest, thats seems to be an inevitable reality. We'll see. Things change. I believe in change. I believe in positive change. I believe in love.