You just seemed kind of down when I posted so I was just trying to be encouraging.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
No apology is really needed. You are oh so correct on my being "kinda down" and I hope you don't think that I was unappreciative of your reaching out. I understand you were coming from a caring and helping place. Sometimes people just want to be "listened to" though. That was the point I was trying to emphasize. All is well ...as far as that is concerned anyway.
I will be hitting the hay as early as possible tonight to see if a healthy chunk of the "kinda down" ....or screw it I will call it what it is melancholy, depressed, empty ..if they can be relieved considerably with a nice long night's sleep. I have a funny feeling that I will discover a brighter day tomorrow.
I have major decisions to be making in the next day or so. Sleep is a must!
Lord please sustain me and help keep me in right paths so that I can discern and fulfill the given plan you call me to do. May I do it with gladness so as to fully glorify your name.
more often then not (in spite of whether your ears are blocked to Him or whatever) He just simply (simply hahahaha ..for Him anyway)moves you to where it is and what it is He wants you doing. At least a part of me is kinda counting on that. There is a track record of it ..so I need to remind myself of that and not worry.
numb though.
it's is always ...Y, N or WAIT ...guess which prayer response is my current fate ...the most arduous, grinding and trying of my patience one. I started this whole shindiggy thing as an overly patient person (according to me and I think others) Don't knwo what remains of it now though. Don't know much. I could be receiving the cluster bomb the likes of which Kalni got and now Confused in PA just got and scores and scores of other s have gotten both on these boards and the world over.
after going 90% of the way towards first home purchase of one that I was at one time extremely excited about, I bowed out of the deal today.
throughout the whole process I had pretty much no center, no balance, no second set of eyes. the pressure that was all consiming during the contemplations of this monstrous decision seems to be abated now.
What it all means ..I have no idea. Just trying at every possible turn to follow His leading. Even though I have been using less than term of endearment towards Him.
Still praying though!? Like any father there are highs and lows & surely tensions.
just waitng for the next weight/trial/test of moxy. I good bit of anger has been pulled off of me but I have yet to sense what it has been replaced with. Still a void ..I am. vacuum
