Well Geez,

I guess it's time to call in the big guns here. Kevin, I don't know you, but believe me when I tell you I know your spirt/your heart/your soul/your kind. You think no one can help you.

And you're right. No one can help you except you and God. And, no one but you can do this because -- as the first step in AA says, "...admitted that we were powerless over alchohol, that our lives had become unmanageable."

Kevin, if you are truly and alchoholic, and you are truly READY to recover, you will take that first step and finish them all....

http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/smf-121_en.pdf (check this out)

Believe me when I tell you that there are many people on this board who either belong to AA or should. If you want to
help yourself, you'll find that meeting and live those steps...forever!

Good luck, Keven.

poet