A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Ok - back to the sexual banter from the last visit. I record these things here because it helps me to see clearly when I want to look at what's working and what isn't, or if I need examples to tell the DB coach.

So, Friday evening H decided we should have hamburgers for dinner. With 4 adults and two kids, this was a bit of an undertaking. He sliced up onions, tomatoes and squash while I made pudding and made the patties. He was appreciative of my help and the mood in the kitchen was warm, light and upbeat. He mentioned that he had used my Kitchen Aid mixer (at his house on loan) to make cookies with kidlet while I'd been gone, and that kidlet liked the dough hook attachment. Apparently, it's much easier to lick than the other ones.

H: It's not ergonomic; it's tongue-o-nomic.

Dia: Tongue-o-nomic? Oh my, I'm FAR too polite to swing at that lovely pitch.

H: (laughter)

Dia: (shows H the platter of hamburger patties)

H: Ooooh, thank you. Your round patties please me. Would you kindly take them to the deck with me?

Dia: (follows H to deck and sets platter on table) What else needs doing?

H: I'm not going to swing at that lovely pitch.

Dia: (laughing) ZING!!

H: Could you grab the buns?

Dia: Oooooohhhh! (slight leer in voice) I'm not going to swing at that lovely pitch, darling - and now we've probably worn that one to death, hmm??

H: (brandishing a grill spatula) Never! We've only just begun to pitch!

Now, this whole scene was accompanied by him grilling and me sashaying on and off the deck to bring various plates, ingredients, etc. It was the exact kind of vibe where I would have kissed him en passant or given his buns a squeeze. And we most certainly would have ended up in bed later that evening.

As it was, I withdrew a little bit from the banter because, well, those arse-grabbing urges were getting pretty darn hard to control!

He was still upbeat and cordial, but he seemed to pull back as well - but only just a little. We cleaned up together after dinner with him putting everything away and me washing dishes. He served me pudding and brought it to me, sitting with me on the couch talking while we ate.

When we were done cleaning up, I said I should be going. He told me I should "Do whatever is right for me" but his tone of voice was stung, hurt but hiding it, and he then retreated to his computer while I packed. There was no hug when I left.

Also, there's this movie that's extremely foundational to our relationship, The Princess Bride. Quotes from that movie are a private love language for us. He quoted a line from the movie at me when we woke up Friday morning. I have this feeling it was a an unintentional slip, though a good one, into our former patterns of interaction.

Another interesting tidbit - I just took all the messages off my phone from the last few days. What with being in interviews and the ER, I let a fair number of calls go to voicemail. There was one from H saying a) they were stopping at the store and did I want anything? and b) He and kidlet were going to a friend's house to watch movies that night.

Can anyone else see him twisting in the wind?