Rays of hope - thaw approaching?

[The Wifey]

Dear Mac, dear, dear Mac. Honey. I know you can't see where being patient is "working" or if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now sit down and have that coffee. Put your feet up a minute.

Getting a job. Good for her, but only step 1. You did a lot of projecting and questioning based on step 1, especially if she just started there. It does not show she is any farther down the tunnel.

Mac, honestly, you just aren't any farther yourself. It is so tempting to spin and dance and question on the tiny scraps of information we get about our WA's. I know that. But the DB part of you needs to get stronger. This is for you.

To get to the point of acceptance and getting stronger is the goal. I know we all can acknowledge on the surface that our awful sitch's are really happening. But true acceptance of the fact that the one person we love more than any other has really and truly done this, that they really feel the way they feel, and that they may really pull the chain and completely D us is so unbelievable painful that we try to block it out of our consciousness.

I feel the "fixer" in me rising to the surface.

I feel the need to text "Very proud of you." or just SOMETHING.
I feel once again that the W is having such a boost in confidence.
I feel the depression that I know she was suffering is dropping away.
I feel she's returning to "normal" where everything hopefully is coming into focus.
I feel her perspective on life the universe and where she fits into it is doing the same.

You feel.You feel. What does she feel? Can you even imagine? Do you really understand it? Of course not, not right now at least.

Sometimes these really strong "feelings" just have to be felt. Not every feeling has to be acted on, though. The best thing you can do with these feelings is to journal. It is very releasing. In your journal you can let it all out. You don't have to be DB in your journal, and you can write what you would say to your W if you had the chance.