Donna--finding herself #37

[kat727]

Donna, It is hard all the way around. I agree. But put Chuck away, he isn't worth the pain and thoughts. I always want to understand why and have come to realize and accept that I may never know. Perhaps neither will you.

You do have acquaintances and so that is a good place to start. Ask one to a movie one night or to grab dinner. Yes other people may be couples but they need some "me" time too. I really do understand, I am basically shy and it takes a lot to reach out.

I do get lonely too but I am starting to get comfortable in my own skin. Go to the movies by yourself. I will wait until just a few minutes before the movie starts and then go in. Go walking, jogging, just think of where you want to be in your life.

I enjoyed being married too. I think of this lady I saw about a month ago. I had helped her when I worked at the bank about 11 years ago. She came in crying, her H was having an affair and wanted a divorce. She didn't have a clue. My heart really went out to her and I tried to comfort her the best I could. Fast forward to a month ago.

I see her and know that I know her. It takes me a minute to place her and she recognizes me. I can tell her her former name and even her ex's name. She said yes but I got remarried. It took me a few years but I forgave him, forgave her and love came into my life. I hadn't even known that this guy liked me, he was someone I worked with. He threw me a surprise birthday party and that was my first hint that he had feelings for me. We were married less that a year later. I never knew a marriage could be like this she said. I believe someday I will say that too.

Maybe we didn't have the best examples of what it could be like so we just muddled along. Now we know sooo much more. I believe we will be able to have a much better marriage next time because we know it takes work, we know there are good times and bad and really we just aren't naive anymore.

Hang in there Donna, better times are ahead.

hugs, kat