You've gotten great DB advice here for free, and you don't follow it. I'm glad you realize that you can't afford DB Coaching -- especially since you wouldn't follow their advice. You don't follow the advice of the pros here -- why would you follow DB coaching advice??
I hope you feel better soon. Everything great is waiting for you to get out there and grab it!!
Face it, you haven't been happy for a long time -- you just used the marriage as a crutch -- and now your crutch has collapsed.
You are a kind, smart, well read, fabulous woman. You think no one else sees this?
Beeps, I'm old enough to be your mom, and am dealing w/heavy life/death stuff now, so I'm not my softest/fuzziest right now.
You deserve better -- be better -- do better. When we know better, we do better.