Shocked - yeah, I know what she's doing. In general, she has gone out with friends regularly to movies, dinner, etc. She's doing more of that - generally same friends. One of them here is newly seperated as well, and it's a bit of an ordeal.
Her best friend from high-school has recently relocated back to the bay area, and is going through divorce. Plus she's reconnected with other friends from high-school on Facebook recently. Plus her brother is down in the bay area, he's been going through a hard time too, it's a long story. SHe's been driving down there to see these friends and family. She went down there two weekends ago, she staying the night tonight with a friend who is pregnant - apparently her husband travels a lot, and she is lonely. So - yeah I see a bit of a trend here, in that a lot of people she's talking to are having some sort of issues.
She made the comment that, she hopes she can get a good night sleep - she's sleeping on an inflatable bed at home, and apparently it's not very comfortable.
W has said that she hates (and has never liked, before we were married) the prospect of dating, and can't see introducing a stepfather into the situation for the boys. Take that for what you will, but I'm confident that any kind of EA or PA is not part of the scenario.
Hubs, Karen, yeah I agree. Need to keep up with what I'm doing. Seems there was a part of me that thought, OK I'll address the problems and take care of this immediately. I know better.
W has been enthusiastic about talking at times, saying things like "Now that I have your attention...", and as I mentioned sought out / offered contact and affection. I suppose I've got to let her initiate these things and not pursue.
She cooked up a big breakfast this morning - can I say that this was just for the boys, but she made stuff that I specifically like, and served up a plate for me. So even though she's not saying ILY, I'm going to take that as a positive sign. When she left she said "Thanks for letting me go!" Not that I had (or expected) a say, but OK. I suppose it's a break from the kids.
Worked outside today, weeding, washing the house down (darn spiderwebs) and the car. Good to spend time outside doing physical things. Sounds like chores but I enjoy it. Boys are outside playing with a friend. Have friends coming over to play music later. I actually don't feel like it, but I'm going to force myself to have some fun.
Have to fight giving into the depression and anxiety. I felt it looming before this started, from work pressure. This is why GAL is important. I thought about working while W was gone - but I realize this is for ME, not for appearances.
I have a collection of hobbies - for example, I was building guitars for awhile. I have one in progress now, but haven't touched it really since last year. In the past, W has made comments that doing this really seemed to make me happy - she could tell a difference - but at other times she joked that she felt jealous of the guitars, because if the time I spent, so I was doing it less and less. In terms of music, W considers herself non-musical, and she's felt sad that it's something she can't connect with, because it's a big part of what I enjoy. We've done this before at home where I'm playing guitar and she sings, she really enjoys it but she feels embarassed too. I only encourage her.
I'm a big reader too.
So - my point is, my "GAL" elements in the past have been things that have to some degree have seperated us, that I've done alone. I've had less and less time for hobbies this past year, but still have relied on playing my guitar as an escape. I want to avoid the "Oh he's off in his room again" business.
Sorry, this post is getting long.
I thought I'd gotten to a point where I was sharing this a little more. My sister and her son were here this past spring, and my buddy and I gave a little "house concert" - W liked this so much, this is what she asked for for our 10-year anniversery in June - so we had a party where we had a bunch of people over, and my little band played. She invited up friends she had reconnected with from high-school, it was a great time. Up to the point of "the bomb" she was talking about doing it again before the boys went back to school. I kind of thought that my music thing, and her need to develop more friendships, was coming together nicely.
But yeah, in terms of W's life - she's puts energy into her business, which has been frustrating for most of this year - and the kids - which aren't always easy. She's had a hard time in her life maintaining friendships, which has been a source of sadness for her. I thought it was a good thing that she was reconnecting with people. Her experience is, she can relate to these friends better than the people in our community. W is a democrat and an agnostic, we live in probably a more right-wing area. The friends in the bay area are typically more liberal (except for this friend she's seeing today - I wonder how that will go...)
Man, how long have I been typing this thing - I had planned to not sit in front of the computer today.
