Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[Faith2010]

How did your 14 year old son have her e-mail address?

It seems like if he has an issue with his dad's affair, that he'd take it up w/his dad -- the person in this whole scenario who knows him, loves him, and owes him something. The OW has none of these criteria. And she didn't "steal" his dad, you can't "steal" a person. People make their own decisions.

I would strongly discourage him from any further interaction with this woman. It just creates more drama, more for her to talk to your husband about, etc. You should simply tell him that we don't involve ourselves with people whose conduct is so low.

This woman is just trouble. She is a liar and cheater at best. You don't want your son communicating with her -- do you??

My S e-mailed her via facebook - that was my first question when S told me.

Of course I don't want my S communicating with OW.

I would agree, ideally S would talk to H about his feelings. However, I am not going to tell S to talk to his father. S tells me how he feels and the only way H has any clue is when I tell him. I have suggested to H he talk to S but that hasn't happened, not about this. I have explained to S if he wants to talk to his dad, then he should feel free to. I also told S if he needs me there, I will be. But I will not tell him he has to.

My S is 14. In his eyes OW did "steal" dad away from him. S has been dealing with the consequences of H's decision for over 2 months. It's hard for him. I will not make light of it nor will I tell S he is wrong - that OW did not "steal" his dad.

S is trying to deal with a very, very difficult and unfair (to S) sitch. Perhaps this will cause drama...I don't know. What I do know is I don't want S to think he's caused problems for me.