Wife has responded postively to me doing more things at home. We're having good conversations about general things. She has sought out hugs and other physical contact, but not consistantly. I'm trying to stop seeking out such things myself, but not successfully. Unclear to me how bad this is.
We're sitting and watching TV together, etc.
These all sound like positive reactions to your 180s. It's only been 2 weeks. I think your expectations need to be lowered a little.
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I'm trying to figure out how much attention to give W. If this is the problem, I want to continue with this 180. I'm trying to spend MORE time with her, without following her around this house. But I don't want to push her away either. She is accepting foot massages from me, so I'm doing this sort of things too.
I don't know that you should be giving her lots of attention at this point (avoiding pursuit). But I do agree with your 180 of being there and not at work or focused on work so much. The Uno, fun stuff with your kids. Focusing on getting healthy with your music and exercise is good. I do think this is a marathon, not a sprint, and you're going to have to do this long-term if you want to convince your W of the changes. And I think they're good for you and your family anyway.
