Rollercoaster week. Dad had surgery again Wed night, and was better yesterday. He was talking more and showed his sense of humor. Today he was zonked out, and when he was awake he wasn't totally conscious. So, it's been tough.
Had a little cry last night and I'm better again today. Almost called H for some fabricated reason last night, and I'm so glad today that I didn't call. H is still gone and contacting him wouldn't help the sitch at all. On the other hand, how much worse could it really get?! Other than not filing, he doesn't contact me, doesn't indicate any feelings for me or the kids, and seems content with his new life (mind reading, I know!).
I have shared my attitude re: DB'g, giving H space/time to work through his stuff, etc. with my sisters and brother. All are supportive with the plan, praying for direction/patience/moving on with life. I prayed so hard last night for a sign.. for H to just contact me and give us a chance to work on the friendship... but I know that will come in His time, not mine.
But I want it now, darn it!!
Anniversary is Sunday. Not planning to contact H re: the date. His BD is shortly after, and I may send a card for that. Undecided so far.
