Wow, Stuck, it is interesting that you say that. Confidence used to be one of my strong points. You are right, I gotta get my confidence back. This I will do starting today.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Wife did something decent last night. She took the kids out to get some fast food and bought me something back without me asking her to. This is obviously not a big deal but it is the first nice thing that she has done for me in a very long time.
I have gone dark for the last two days and feel pretty good about it. No calls, no questions, no contact at all. Just replied to questions asked with yes or no answers.
This should be pretty interesting. My daughter has invited a couple of her friends over to spend the night for a few nights. Normally my wife takes care of this stuff and makes plans with the girls. My wife is working and I am off work until Friday. I will be spending time with the girls instead of her. My wife doesn't seem to be too interested in doing anything with them.
What does 11-13 yr. old girls like to do? I guess I'll let them tell me what they want to do. I'm just glad that my daughter has friends around to take her mind off of the foolishness going on here at home.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Had a pretty good day. Got up did a lot of house cleaning. Took the kids to Subway for lunch and then to the bowling alley. Let the girls bowl while my son played video games. Got a kick out of watching them bowl, they all stink. (Why do girls like to scream so much?)
Came home did more cleaning. Really starting to get the house to look the way that I have always envisioned. Since my wife has stopped doing things around the house I never thought things would get done. I'm really starting to feel good about how things are coming along. Whether she leaves or stays the house will be a much better place to live. Not that it was bad, just not complete. A few more months and a little overtime at work and I will be able to have the downstairs and the basement furnished the way I want. My next big purchase will be a new TV for the family room and a pool table for the basement. I've always wanted a pool table. After that then I will start on my room upstairs.
Wife just rolled in from work. She called my daughter on her way home and told her and the other kids to be ready to go to farmers market. When she got here she just blew the horn in the driveway and they went rushing out.
I haven't said more than 10 words to wife since deciding to go dark on Sunday. I still feel really good about it. Haven't had much desire to contact her or talk to her.
I did notice something a little different though. She has been really, really jovial and playful with the kids over the last few days. Normally she sits around the house, watches a lot of TV, reading magazines, on the computer or is on her cell phone. She doesn't laugh or play with kids. She used to laugh and joke with us all of the time. We would wrestle and run around the house chasing each other often. She hasn't done any of that stuff in at least a year. But over the last few days she seems a little more pleasant. Probably doesn't mean anything but just an observation.
One more week and the kids and I are off to NYC. I can't wait. Sunday I asked the wife if she could give me some money for the kids for the trip. She told me no and if I couldn't afford it then I should not go. I think that she is a little jealous but would never admit it. Since she has headed down this road of divorce I have traveled more with the kids without her then we have traveled together over the last couple years. Last year we went to Las Vegas, and Ohio. This year we have gone to Ohio for a weekend, we are going to NYC in a week, and I am trying to see if the kids and I can make it to Savannah, GA for my family reunion in OCT. If I go to reunion I am going to see if my mom wants to go with me and kids. I am definitely trying to GAL and "Act As If".
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Took son, daughter and daughter's two friends to concert to see Four Tops and Temptations. Had a great time. Kids didn't know too much of Four Tops music but loved the Tempts, knew much of their stuff. Wife didn't go, I didn't invite her and she didn't ask to go. We just got home. Didn't speak to each other.
Been with kids and their friends for last few days. Been keeping very busy. Another Mr. Mom. Contractors have been here last few days working on water damage caused by washer. They are about half done now. Wife doesn't seem too interested in what they are doing.
Well, I am really tired and have to go to work tomorrow night so I gotta get some sleep.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Is there some subtle things you could do like when your buying food to not buy the foods/items your wife likes etc? If she won't help pay for the household expenses at least it makes her pick it up herself without telling her that is what your doing.
Never thought of that. Problem is though, she will eat just about anything. She will often come home from work and eat cereal for dinner. She will at times by some groceries so that she will have lunch for work. She is trying to be more independent and self sufficient by paying for all of her things and then going without on things that she can't afford. But it is easy to try to do that when you aren't paying for mortgage, lights, gas, electric, car note, insurance, etc. Even with me paying for everything she still can't afford to get hair done every week or go on vacation, etc. At some point she is probably going to figure out that life was a lot easier and more enjoyable when we both were working towards the same goals.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Been dark for a few days now. Things seem to be a little easier for me this way. Don't have to think as much or make too many decisions about conversation. So far I only speak to her if it is related to kids, house, bills, etc. Other than that nothing. I don't offer to do anything for her anymore or even consider her needs or wants. I'm pleasant and cordial when spoken to but short and to the point. So far it hasn't phased her at all.
Two more days and the kids and I leave for the Big Apple. Looking forward to going but not looking forward to hotel bill. Contractor will finish work in house while I'm gone. Wife will be around to sew up any loose ends.
Just started gathering all the pictures in the house to start a photo album. Found pictures of the kids that I haven't seen in years. Also, found pictures of wife and I before the kids. Boy, we really looked happy then, and really, really young. She was absolutely stunning. I'm surprised that she hadn't done this years ago. She used to really be into this type of thing. Now she isn't interested in this kinda stuff and I seem to have taken over the family curator role. But I'm kinda liking it. Once I'm done I'll sit down with the kids and laugh at some of the pictures that I found. I plan of taking a lot of pictures in NY to add to album.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Leaving for NYC in A.M. with kids. Wife is driving us to airport. Have gone dark for about 2 weeks now. Wife has been oblivious to my darkness. Probably plays right into her hands. But I feel better. Only talk to her when necessary.
On good note, I have found hundreds of pictures for album. Found pictures over twenty years old. I found a lot of old pictures of when the monsters (kids) were really little. I can't wait until they get a little older and I can blackmail them with the pictures(haha):).
What am I going to do in the Big Apple? I don't know, what I can't wait to find out. I haven't been there in about 10 years. My daughter doesn't remember when we were there. She wants to go to garment district. I want to see cultural things. My son wants to see a pool. This is going to be great.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Just arrived in NYC. Wife dropped us off at airport. Hugged kids, didn't say bye to me. Time for me to stop thinking about her for a few days and have some fun. Gotta figure out what to do in NY. Be back later.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
2nd day of vacation. Went to Museum of Natural History, Times Square and Grand Central Station. Daughter spends entire time texting on phone and calling her Mom. She doesn't really seem to be too interested in doing anything. Son (autistic), is fine, just wants to go swimming all day long. Will try to get to Statue of Liberty or China Town tomorrow. Really miss traveling with wife, we used to have lots of fun on vacations. On upside, one of my close friends is coming to town to visit his relatives in a couple of days. I plan to hang out with him a little. Being with another adult will do me good.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
