You sound like you are on much more solid ground with this. Yes please keep posting as this is a glimpse of something that we all hear about but I have wondered if anyone really ever gets to see it. LOL. I guess we all have some voyeristic tendencies.
LOL! Cat, I will admit, this fascinates me. (maybe I'm nuts) The whole process does. There is so much to all of this .Not only her journey, but mine as well. To catch glimpes of what is happening and to see and hear so many similar things happen to the rest of us here amazes me. I have learned so much about what is really taking place.
It's really helped me develop an understanding and compassion for her. As much as we think this wacked out ride is pure hell for us, it is nothing compared to what they feel. NOTHING. Learning all about this has been very helpful in many ways, but just as light is to dark or yin is to yang, it can be negative if you let it.
SoCo, Thank you ,I hope you have a great weekend too!
Originally Posted By: braveheart
Trapt, nice play! Keep it up. Sound interested in her conversation, what I mean by that is listen to what she has to say, without seeming you want her back. Does that make sense? Keep playing it cool, make sure you aren't dealing with a touch and go. Don't mean to sound negative, just want you to keep the guard up for awhile.
Braveheart, I agree again (what's happening here LOL!) I have been doing just that, but what is so great is that it all is just starting to flow now. I don't have to think about a response or how to act. It just happens when I'm around her or when I speak to her. It's just real. Yes, I worry still about what to say or do, or whether or not I should contact her right up until it happens, but now when it does it's all just natural.
Ian's post hit a nerve a little bit the other day at first. I'm actually thankful for it now. It was like a well needed shove or a door that he swung open. (hard to explain) I'm serious though. Something clicked after I processed what he said and got out what I needed to. It made me so much more confident in myself when it comes to dealing with her the right way.
To answer your question....yes, it all makes sense, but it makes sense in an automatic sort of way. It's all genuine now. I like listening to her, and I like having the chance to show her my improvements and even having her mention them to me. Yes, being a little mysterious and more attractive has been fun too. I like seeing how she has change. This woman went freakin camping I could have never imagined it. We both still need to keep growing though, It has become a little easier KNOWING that I'm gonna be better because of this NO MATTER WHAT.
This very well could be a touch and go, but I see progress and that is good even if we don't ever get back together. Either way it goes, this is still SO FAR FROM OVER. The OM is still in the picture to some degree, but it is becoming more and more obvious as to what that relationship is. I see so many signs of her using him to avoid being alone. From what I hear and see, it's almost as if she is preparing for his exit in a way. (he will be leaving the country for 14 months in the spring) Hell who knows though, this could all change, I can ONLY observe. This is all TOTALLY out of my hands. I can't do a damn thing but be me and live better every day, trusting whatever happens will be for the good. I will admit this is testing my patience like never before. I so wish I could just tell her how I feel and that I understand. Maybe someday the time will be right for that.
It's been a good day and a nice relaxing night alone tonight. I needed to take it easy. I have been on the go a lot lately. I'm looking forward to whatever tomorrow brings. Well..... today actually : )
