Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

She was hateful and rude at son's kickball game on Thursday evening. The kids were there, lots of people were there, and I let it go.

Later that evening, I sent her the following E-mail...

"Wife,
You have made it clear to me how you feel. I have listened, and agreed,
with how I treated you. Now, I'd like to let you know how I feel.

I've done a good job of turning around. I meant business! I truly
understand what I did, and I have deep sorrow.

I'm remorseful. I've shown you that I am sorry and have taken the blame
for the way I treated you and that I understand your feelings and anger and
disgust.

However, your way of talking and communicating to me is often
disrespectful. It is no better for you to talk to me this way than it was when
I was doing it to you. We both know that I was wrong in the past; and I can't
defend or make excuses about my past behavior. I'd like to establish a two way
level of respect.

If you shouldn't have had to take me talking to you that way (and you
shouldn't), then I shouldn't have to take it from you either (and I shouldn't).
I believe you know this to be true.

You've made it clear to me, as far as our future goes, that it's over and
you're done! I accept that. Acceptance is not agreement. I accept that it is
your choice. It is not the choice that I would have made.

Regardless, I care for you deeply, and I love our three children with every
ounce of life that is in me.

Sincerily,

Antlers"


I meant what I said, and I said what I felt. I tried to walk that line that I mentioned earlier...setting boundries, and at the same time...doing it with love and compassion. I felt better after I'd sent it. It's a change from how I've been so far.