So here is my quandary...I am still stuck in this gear and cant get past these thoughts. W is planning on going to school. We are not working on "us". W cannot even sit on the couch next to me any longer. She cannot be within 3 feet of me without saying sorry (like we were going to bump into each other and do harm). We do not say ILY or hug and kiss good night, good bye. The kids are starting to feel tension as to who they should sit with at night to watch TV. We have conversations at the dinner table about everyones day but that is about it. No conversations between the two of us even if we are the only ones in the room. I feel I am really stuck as to what to do next.
The best thing to do when you don't know what to do is to do nothing. Act as if you are just fine. Fake it until you make it. She is as uncomfortable as you are, but you are going to act like you accept it all.
No expectations. That means not to expect ILY, sitting next to each other, hugs, etc.
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I of course can try and do the math and when I do I get
school for 8 months + wanting to find herself + needing financial security + M is not worth saving = the big D once graduation + new job happens. But I am trying not to be that cynical. I kind of approached it with her in that manner when i signed the loan papers and she said what was I talking about there is no grand plan. Just her trying to find herself and get some self esteem as she has 0 now. What are anyones thoughts?
Ummmm, 8 months is an awfully long way ahead to be projecting more expectations. Sounds like a little more whipping behind the shed.
If you are uncomfortable don't say you can't get unstuck. Actually you are choosing not to get unstuck. Get up and go do something. Or, learn to relax and go with it.
She is trying to find herself. Let her find her, without your help. I understand where you are coming from on the loan. You have given her a gift. Don't expect a thank you, a change of heart, or a reversal of her original decision because of it.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
