Its not like I want to keep this going, I really, really don't but I am finding it hard to let him say things about me that simply aren't true. Because it hurts coming from him, anyone else, fine, but him, its not fine. Because I love him and I feel the need to prevent him from thinking a certain way about me. But he's going to think them either way.
Reread your statement, especially the bold part.
You cannot control what he or anyone else on this planet thinks of you. All that trying to get him to see the truth is doing for you is sapping your energy and leaving you frustrated.
When he emails this spew, think, "Ah, the alien is talking again. I sure wish the H I knew hadn't been abducted by the alien. Silly, stupid, clueless alien."
None of us was any stronger than you when we came here, but we made the decision to detach, learn, and let go of the rope. We chose--even though it was AS compelling and AS tough for us as it is for you--to stop engaging in cheeseless tunnels. Over time it gets easier, because you are creating a habit and a different way of behaving in your R and in the world.
How do your muscles get stronger? By reading about it? By talking about it? By wishing for it? No; that would be silly, right? The only way to build muscle is to work out. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes we want to quit. Sometimes we injure ourselves, but then we learn how to do it better and perfect our technique.
Well, the only way your DB muscles are going to grow strong is through this same process.
It is a decision. Decide. Choose. Let go.
DBing is not just a M strategy, it is a LIFE strategy. My M is pretty good these days, and it's always best when I am actively using what I learned from DBing.
But it's not *his* fault you respond. It's yours. So accept that, learn from it, and make better decisions.
You are not a victim. No one who has choices is a victim.
You'll get there, but you've got to get out of your own way.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
