HI All, First time poster and I thought I'd share my situation. About 2 months ago my wife started going out a lot - at least once per week till 2 - 4 am and at least another night till 10 - 12. When she is at home she has been texting on her phone or on the computer. All of this too me was completely out of the blue. I don’t believe she is having an affair or is on drugs or alcohol but I could be wrong. I started arguing with her and did a lot of dumb things, firstly it was gentle encouragement to talk to which she refused, then it went to me trying to stop her using the computer and ringing her up when she was going out and telling her to come home, then I tried to be physical with her - nothing major - she certainly has not been hurt – she just refused to talk to me. She eventually told me she needs space and we should separate and split custody of the kids. I had to go sleep in the lounge. The kids are aged 8 & 6 (I’m 36 she is 33 – I have stable married parents she doesn’t) and when she goes out I take care of them and when she is at home she certainly isn’t focused on their care at all. It appears to me she is rejecting her family and going out with younger friends especially one girl at work. This has been a horrific time for me during which I haven’t been sleeping or eating well and have been unfocussed at work. I used to do judo a couple of times per week but haven’t been able to go. Basically I have been completely stressed. Last night I had a real good sleep in my bed (she was out till 2:00) after accepting the situation somewhat. Any advice on how I feel would be appreciated but at the start I was at a lost to understand what was going on, then I was blaming myself now I feel the following: 1. This is my house and if she doesn’t like it she should leave. 2. She has to go to counselling with me to try and resolve this. I think she will but to get this to happen I have stated it is all about my issues. 3. It is my bed and I’ll be sleeping in it. 4. She can do whatever she wants – I don’t care atm. 5. I have lost a lot of respect for her – basically if we didn’t have the kids I’d let her go. 6. From now on I’ll be handling the situation better and focussing on myself and not letting her get a reaction out of me.
