Ups and Downs

[Energizer Bunny]

Good point. I'll hold off on sharing the book. I've stopped trying to "fix" anything and have gotten a lot better at focusing on myself.

I have had such a hard time understanding the Ups & Downs that W goes through. I noticed recently though that I go through these too. For the last couple of days I have had that "young, strong, and I can handle this," vibe going. Then all of the sudden I just get sad.

I saw that a couple of weeks ago you were having the ability to detach a little more and check out girls at the gym. Are you keeping that up? I've had moments like that, but I haven't been able to maintain them. (I don't show her when I'm sad)

Funny how this supposedly came on from lack of communication, lack of appreciating the small things, etc. and the prescription for fixing it is no communication, no over the top appreciation, no acting lovie-dovie etc. Ironic.

Her anger comes and goes. Last night when I was typing on this she came and sat with me outside and said, "I'm so sorry we're going through this." I could only reply "me too." I waited and followed with "I've learned a lot that I don't think I would have otherwise though." She seemed to appreciate that and said that she did too. This is the first time that she has come to me and discussed anything not completely superficial in a while. I think it's because she was nervious about going to IC today. She HATES talking about her feelings. The only way she can do it is to put on the "strong, angry-girl face."

I'm nervous to see how she acts today after her IC appt. I still think she's there looking for validation in leaving so she won't feel guilty anymore.