Another question: I saw stuff about the book "Walk Out Woman." Is it something that you could share with your wife? I know that my wife would like better understanding of shy she's feeling what she's feeling, to be validated, and to know that she's not crazy or alone and I thought it may help. OTOH, that may just be the "fixer" coming out in me.
I would not recommend this. Where she likely is, she is not going to listen to ANY advice from you. Right or wrong, that is where she is. Unless she asks for help (not likely), I would not give her advice or any books.
Right now, the best thing you can do is give her space and change you to make you a better you. That is the the only way you will make an impression on her.
Funny you saw the thing about my W and her books. I haven't checked in "her" room in quite a while (and don't plan to cuz I don't care), but I believe those books have been gone for a while. At the time, they proviked a lot of anger and hurt in me, and I asked myself the same question you noted. Unfortunately, you have to do all the heavy lifting right now. But, it will get better.
I will give you some suggestions (worth what you paid for them) on books I found helpful. The Five Love Languages really made an impact on me. I read the Walk Out Woman, and I cannot say I learned a lot - most of the WAW perspective on this board was what seemed to be contained in that one.
I am reading one right now called Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. One of my big changes has been turning from a pessimist to an optimist. Really helps with the PMA.
I just ordered Light Her Fire, and I'll let you know how that one goes.
