To summarize current situation. W has initiated in-house seperation, roughly 2 weeks ago, has declared intent to move out and divorce. We have not told the kids (twin boys, 8 years old) yet. She wants to maintain the family unit as much as possible, she has called me her "best friend" and good co-parent, but has lost the husband / wife connection. I have, over the past year or so, ben drawn more and more into the demands of work, and she has felt the loss of attention. W has said that she is at peace with this decision, and the seperation period is for me and the boys; her therapist is encouraging her to do it quickly.
This started two weeks ago.
Wife has responded postively to me doing more things at home. We're having good conversations about general things. She has sought out hugs and other physical contact, but not consistantly. I'm trying to stop seeking out such things myself, but not successfully. Unclear to me how bad this is.
We're sitting and watching TV together, etc. She is spending more time with friends, taking a trip this weekend for example.
I'm making an effort to get home earlier, spend more time and focus with the kids, playing games, etc. I took them to an amusement park yesterday. Last Friday, W joined in on a game of Uno, and we all had a lot of fun.
The other thing I'm trying to keep up is playing music with my friends. W has said that, this is when I seem to be most happy. She has also enjoyed it when I just play for the family, so I think I should do more of this too.
I'm trying to figure out how much attention to give W. If this is the problem, I want to continue with this 180. I'm trying to spend MORE time with her, without following her around this house. But I don't want to push her away either. She is accepting foot massages from me, so I'm doing this sort of things too.
So, my focus right now is correcting the balance in my life, my kids, doing more "acts of service" at home, giving W more attention. I want to continue time with music and friends, without being more absent from the home. She has reacted positively to these things, but is still determined to leave.
