I am not angry in the sense of RAGE. I am hurt because of all the unnecessary pain he put me through the last year. I am amazed about how he was capable of ML to me and her for a whole year, coming back from paris with gifts for the kids, gifts he bought with her!!!
Right now, I am following the pattern of not just friends book, needing to know all details, the ways, mechanisms, tricks he used. He answers all questions. I do sound mean to him very much. But I am accepting I lost. Time to move on. I wish my parents were calmer with all this. Now THEY feel betrayed. His father the same. Weird huh? He caused so much pain to so many people. NOW he realises the magnitude of what he done.
I am in pain. For the women out there, this feels like when the placenta is finally pulled out of you after you give birth. It's like tearing apart something that was precious for nine months but has become obsolete, useless now and it's torn out of you. When I had my baby girl, with no drugs, I felt the pain, different that the birth pain, weird, not as acute but soooo weird. It's the final act.
