Isn't that just our nature? The maternal side I mean. I catch myself wanting to fix my kids issues when really they are the only ones that can. I pipe right up and give advice but maybe like your friend, they are just venting.
It is difficult to step back, not reach out when you know they are going to fall and perhaps get hurt. Part of growing up. Part of letting go.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
No, Kat, that's what men usually do. We tend to always try to "fix" things, when just lending an understanding ear is all that is really wanted or needed. Women are more apt to listen. It's we guys who tend to be blind in that regard. You know it's true, you've seen it.
But of course we all have our blindspots from time to time.
Are you following me?? LOL Perhaps I have a good mix then because I am a fixer and a listener and heck you got me, a talker too(but mostly when I am nervous). Yes I have seen first hand the lack of listening skills. Maybe hearing it but not liking it so simply the info is tossed? See I am trying to figure it out now.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I so get that. Not sure if I could be quiet, given the same situation, especially after being that we've lived through divorce, and also just caring about those people. I think suggesting that he seek professional help is ok after lending a listening ear.
Hope everything else is going well - I still want to catch up with you! Let me know what's going on this weekend on the alt univ...?
I went to the callback. It was a bit harrowing but the dialog was much easier with another person. I did my best.. and am going with the rest.
Although I've started walking again in the morning and was active in the middle of the day, I'm a little bored. Have to come up with some GAL activities.. though I'm beginning to think I need some male action with some man's lil namesake. It's been two years. Ugh. Of course, I'm so flippy in that area I can't imagine a booty call so probably more exercise is a more productive avenue.
Have to talk to ex. I'd talked to his mom (whom I'm close to) early yesterday. During our conversation she thanked me for keeping in touch and we had a very pleasant but short visit since she is recovering from bronchitis. A half hour later she was rushed to the hospital and will be there a few days.
During conversations with ex's older sister (they still refer to me as their sis-in-law) she shared that she was the only invited to ex's wedding reception and was happy to hear that my kids would be there. Apparently ex didn't invite his other sister. He's refused to talk to her since early December when she mentioned she was going to invite me and the kids up for Christmas after he declined the invitation.. He wanted her to honor his request that I have nothing to do with his family. She disagreed.
It's hard to stay out of the drama.. but I'm usually good about dropping it. Talking about him is only idle gossip.. nothing that adds a lick to my life.
The reading sounded like a blast - how exciting!!!
I actually have the chance for a booty call later in the month (remember the biker guy? He emailed me...) but I think I am going to pass. It can be fun to know that....things still work and are alive. But I am hoping for more at this point. Have fun, anyway!
Well.. I didn't get the part.. but I'm thankful. Top billing in a production would be daunting. The great thing is they know my face and my'style' so I'll continue to audition in the future. Whoo hoo.. new things, new adventures.
Ex isn't responding to my emails (something I'd do with him when I couldn't handle it, was fearful). I figure I'll choose a deadline then hand it over to my lawyer. Less hassle for me, and easier all around. Decisions R Me.. yay!
I have to get my head on straight. Deep inside I still think I have a connection with ex. I have to get out of this house, start my own life, let go of my sh*t and stop hiding from things.
I don't want him in my life but I don't .. it's not that I don't accept.. and I know he's married with his own life.. but I seem to keep some strings I don't let go. I don't know. He's still 'in' me.. not in a good way. I carry him around giving him residence in my head.. lots of time in the back but always available to come out of the closet as needed.
I can't believe I haven't let go of it all. His letters don't bug me as much as they did. If he feels pushed he pushes back twice as hard. If he upsets me I'll get scared and hide or have passive/aggressive behavior.
Hey Gyps.....it takes time. When you are ready to move on and meet someone, your mind will be occupied with other things and slowly your ex (who is remarried) will fade. In my case, when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and acting like a victim.....when i realized that I had something to offer....when I realized i deserved better than what ex was and had been dishing out.....when i realized that the world does not revolve around ex.....that my happiness COULD NOT be solely related to her being part of my life, when that day came I opened myself to new people. In spite of all this, XW remains or lingers in my thoughts....less and less....but I know she does not deserve me and i can do better.
