At some point in this journey, it's sink, swim or get out of the water. I know I was DBing great guns but started seeing the wall of reality in July, August of 2008. I was 'ready' for the divorce, the legal aspect.. but.. but.. but.. I felt self conscious. Did I try enough? If I could accept the concept was I giving up when there was still a chance? What about my children, the concept of family?
My lawyer later told me what she shared with spouse's counsel.. That I didn't know how to pull the trigger. I couldn't do, wouldn't do it. In hindsight the divorce could have been finalized sooner rather than later. But I experienced what I was supposed to. By the time the divorce happened I was in a better place emotionally but still weirded out.
Jaded, experienced, tested... who knows.. but labels should not be applied. It's all part of learning, moving forward, getting healthy. The best part is not having the deep down anger, bitterness.. as I toddle toward healing.
It's not about who's right or wrong, who cheats or doesn't even though those are the springboards of separation. It's how the rope is dropped and the path that's followed.
I love how Maria moved forward in the midst of her horror, the sadness of the children. Her husband will probably paint it as more her fault than his (as my spouse did) but in the end, the kids know the truth, without being told.
Chin up Maria, send your spouse 'blessings'on your road toward healing. My first would be to wish him a bikini waxing.. okay, not the most forgiving thought but you have to start somewhere.
