I had been having a hard time GAL, since W was coming around more often for a while. We kept doing things as a family. Over the past month though it has become easier. I think W is noticing too. She seems to feel left out when S and I are going out to the park, hanging with the neighbors, or hitting a ballgame. GAL has been good for me too.
It's SOOO hard to be a friend with her right now. She has turned into such a different person. I completely understand that I need to do better than my best here though. **note to self - remember, the ultimate goal is to save M and family ** This fits right into the stuff that I need to work on with myself too. I never really understood how to be the listener that she has wanted me to be. Listening and validating without trying to fix and give feedback seems to be a problem for a lot of us guys. I had no clue it was such an issue with W prior to this.
I'm in the same position. Two bits of advice. Make sure you don't inadvertently put your son between the two of you. Not easy I know. My wife has been so fixated on gettin her own life (withdrawing)she is now surprised that our son has noticed her frequent absences from us. Go figure! Also, dont forget to try to do things for yourself without your son. It's easy top try to be superdad while you're trying to save your marriage. I'm also working on this myself, but I think it's a lot more beneficial for you and more noticable for your wife when some of what you do is, well, selfish - just for you.
I also wasn't a good listener. I realized that in my desire to be right, or heard, or make my point, I often would dismiss my wifes point or feelings. I'm learning.
Sounds like you're heding in the right direction. Hang in there.
