How did your wife end up with the kids if you were a stay at home dad? I would have thought that you would get them as the primary caregiver, or am I missing something?
She had taken the kids and went to her Mom's house and refused for me to see them.told me if I went near hear mom's I would be arrested for trespass.and state police (We are in the boonies)would not get involved because it was a civil matter. so after about a month I had enough had picked them up from school bus stop before my wife got there.she went ballistic and filed for temp emergency custody.and got it told the court I kidnapped the kids and refused to return them unless she moved back into the marital home,I refused my sons medication he has asthma and I threatened to relocate them out of state so she would not find us all of which was total BS.had to wait another 4 weeks for a court date.and basically had to take what they offered so I could see my kids.now I have to fight for custody.They currently live in a two bedroom house with my outlaws.We go to court Thursday for spousal support."One day at a time"
H 49 W 42 S 19 S 14 S 12 S 8 D 6 M 19 Bomb dropped 2/09 Separated 5/09 still hopeful, praying
No kidding who is your lawyer, protect yourself and your children. I wish you well in that.
That being said, you really need to take some advice from here and gal, which means get a life, pick up a new hobby, rediscover an old one, get with some old friends. What do you like to do? What are your plans this weekend?
So what are you doing to work on your right now....and I mean really work on you? What's going on with the D? Where does that stand? What's your wife's deal? Where are you living and where is she living?
As far as working on me.I lead a much healthier lifestyle.eating right,walking.I have been in therapy for over a year now.and I have a very PMA with me.I have become more spiritual and started giving back with the talents I have been blessed with.I am a musician at heart,play with a christian band and teach guitar just for the sake of teaching.something I never had the patience for before."I am living in a deeper state of now".
as far as the D.she filed in February and she is just waiting on the courts.she insists she is done and will not consider MC unless it is geared towards a divorce.I tried to get her to go to retro at first she said yes but then she said all I am trying to do is get my family back.(DUH)she says she has been miserable for twenty years.I don't buy into that.we went on a Marriage Encounter back in Feb 07.at that point she said we had a good M she just wanted to make it better.it actually was but in contrast for me this is were the DoDo hit the blade. Just prior to our M.E my brother lost his wife suddenly,we were all very close.then June 07 I lost my father after a year long battle with cancer.on my way to his wake I was in a serious auto accident in my 1965 Mustang it was my third ride. a truck dropped a pallet of driveway pavers in front of me I didn't have time to react and hit it at 55.I should have went to the hospital but I had to get to the service.turned out I had 2 herniated discs.I need to have a disc replaced and spinal fusion.I have been fighting all this time and just recently have been approved for the surgery.hence the SAHD and no income
What's your wife's deal? still trying to figure this one out.granted I have not been without faults I have made stupid mistakes.but we worked through them.but lately not sure she turned 42 in April.she had a hysterectomy Last Oct.and I had a serious battle with depression,bad episode with medication interaction,and at one point thought I was having a stroke.and I stopped taking meds which turned out to be a mistake on my part.serious detox and anger issues.at this point she became very demeaning which was just gas on the proverbial fire.so I guess this is where some of my guilt comes to play
Where are you living and where is she living? She is living with her parents and 4 of my 5 children.My oldest S20 lives with his girlfriend but is soon to be home because she is off to college.that is another novel in itself and lots of our issues stem from this but now is not the time.She has been living there since May 10.since then she has tried several ploys to get me out.turned off all utilities.I had to sell some collectible guitars I had which in this economy really killed me but it had to be done.the sad part is my kids suffer as I was saving for them.I have since gone on Public Assistance and Food Stamps and just scraping by.The mortgage is 2 months behind.she keeps asking me when I am going to move out but I have no where to go.my family is 2 hours away and I will never see my kids so that is NOT an option.she says she has been looking for places to rent but it is $1000 or more plus 2 months security so she cant swing it (drip,drip)my heart bleeds.and the kids are back in school soon so she is panicky.
o.k if this was not enough to believe here comes the main course.My wife is a Corrections Officer going on 9 years now it is a real s***hole of a place to work.they just treat her like crap on top of all the BS from General Population.add to that she works midnight shift and rarely gets more than 4 hours sleep.I have seen her go 36 hours with no sleep.added to her meno-midlife-hipocrytical state. ok it's out
Sorry for the long read but I couldn't make it up if I wanted to and believe there is more.My shrink is going to sell it to Lifetime Movies. wouldn't that just chap my hide.
God Bless.
Last edited by harpo; 08/05/0910:24 PM.
H 49 W 42 S 19 S 14 S 12 S 8 D 6 M 19 Bomb dropped 2/09 Separated 5/09 still hopeful, praying
Alright. That's a lot. But there have been worse situations that have turned around. Are you not working now? The next time she asks about you moving say in a very calm voice and very sincerely: "Let's have this conversation one last time. I am not moving out. I would welcome you to move back in and we could live in separate rooms. But I have no where to go and you know that. I know you aren't heartless, no matter what's happened between us. And to be honest, I don't want to leave my home. I don't see why I should have to when you are the one who's working through some things. We could do that together or separated, I leave it up to you. But where I live is my choice. I choose my home. I know you understand and I appreciate that."
Well it just ain't easy is it. Had our support hearing today.we both wound up dropping our complaints and it was a was.what a crock. I feel so violated and humiliated and used.she knew just about every body in the Domestic Relations office.turns out she plays softball with them and probation dept.I am most likely going to have to either give up the house to her or lose it. I can't carry the mortgage.her lawyer said she would pay the mortgage if I moved out.(aarrrgh)
Just got off the phone with the W.S12 wants to come to hang out. I said o.k then I had a momment of weakness I brought up the R.I know, I know but I saw an opportunity and what the He!! do I have to lose.W said she has seen some positive changes in me but doesn't know if it is enough (wouldn't elaborate)and the classic ILYBINILWY.then she told me she her lawyer suggested to try for exclusive rights to the home it was a 50/50 chance but would require another retainer.(just wants her money).so I am in quite a pickle with no jar. Anybody with some enlightenment would be welcome. Thanks God Bless
H 49 W 42 S 19 S 14 S 12 S 8 D 6 M 19 Bomb dropped 2/09 Separated 5/09 still hopeful, praying
o.k if this was not enough to believe here comes the main course.My wife is a Corrections Officer going on 9 years now it is a real s***hole of a place to work.
Don't I know what that is all about having a W working at the pits of hell for the Commonwealth.
So what are your options in terms of working? Or making money?
Right now pretty bleek.I have been out of work since 11-07 waiting on Social Security Disability.which after the accident we agreed on that and I would stay at home with the children.I am still in need of surgery(disc replacement and fusion),which the insurance company finally fessed up to.so now I can get it but I have no one to care for me after the fact.
This has all been just a mind boggling,numbing and learning experience.I just try and keep the faith, and hope I will come through it in the end.
God Bless
H 49 W 42 S 19 S 14 S 12 S 8 D 6 M 19 Bomb dropped 2/09 Separated 5/09 still hopeful, praying
