Dear Kalni...I am so sorry that you are going thru the pain of what you recently discovered.
You will be OK. This is a character flaw of your H...not anything to do with you.
I hope I don't come across as being a pontificator, but, your sitch simply is representative of the following things that we ALL ARE VULNERABLE TO:
that the majority of our WAS are having affairs
that we choose to ignore the obvious out of fear
that this forum is of great use for support but can keep us in denial...that most books state that hoping and waiting for reconciliation, in our situations, is a form of denial. We waste too much time here trying to win back people who lie, cheat, break promises and destroy families
that, for men, if your W want's a separation there is a VERY HIGH LIKELIHOOD that there is another man in the wings. That the separation is not because "she needs time to figure this out"..but...to foster the outside R and allow the marriage to have a slow death
that most of the time there IS CHEESE in those 'cheeseless tunnels'
that knowing, as painful as it is, is better than living in limbo
Kalni..again...I am SO sorry and don't wish to sound compassionless. The only real control that you have here now is to immediately take control and FILE and move on with your life. I"m sorry. I know we don't like to say this here, but, this is MY opinion.
Don't post those pics on FB and I will agree with the quote here: "Blech". Who wants to see your H's sorry a$$ a$$ on the PC screen.
Maintain your R with your H as best you can in a way to be able to establish a coparenting pathway. As our family counselor says, "we want to try and turn this into a business relationship".
Do everything you need to do to protect yourself right now re: finances and anything personal of yours in the house.
Now...go back to bworl's posts and read them.....OVER and OVER again. I'm sure you know what I mean by this.
Hugs.
Supporting you.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
