Although the general opinion on these boards is GAL, 180's, and that sort of thing, I am going to suggest a different school of thought on this particular situation. And I do NOT think you should stop doing those things but.....
It sounds like,when you got sick, your H was faced with losing the person who managed his life while he LIVED. You realized as well that you had not been LIVING in the way that you wanted (are you sure?) and started doing it. My first question is how much did you talk to him about what YOU had experienced, what you learned about yourself? Or did you just start living and expect that it would not make him wonder why the change? It sounds like he was faced with a fear of losing you, then felt like he was losing you and he started to question himself about everything. I am by no means saying you are responsible for this, but I can see fear written all over his behavior. What would he do without you? How would he live? Could he survive? And how responsible is he for your unhappiness (possibly how he believes that you feel about your former life) because he let you take care of everything? Just observations based on what you wrote.
The key thing is wierd and I do think you might want to try to investigate a little because he isn't simply going to fess up to OW, even if the proof is staring him in the face. Do you have an extra set?
Keep posting, everyone here is wonderful.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
