Have you worked along side people in the workforce who you were cordial to but you were emotionally detached to them? That is how we mean to be lovingly detached to your W. The fact that you could show a sense of frindliness and even some warmth but yet you do not let her pull the puppet's strings and control your moods is what she will notice. It is not about controling her or her controling you. It is about you taking charge of your emotions and focusing on your life instead of centering every word and deed around her. Whatever she says or whatever her mood, you don't sway from your PMA. PMA doesn’t mean to act like a “clown” in the face of seriousness, but it is what it says…a positive mental attitude. You put your own personality into that PMA to own it. It is not fake if you make it your own personal PMA and live that way from day to day. I practice that at work. I leave my problems at home so that I can focus on my work and so I can treat people the way I need to and show a positive mental attitude. I’d hate to know what I’d be like otherwise. When we return home in the evenings, it is really harder to apply this technique than at work b/c this is where we “live” and we want to let down and kind of let it all hang out (lol). Maybe we need to find a quite place for a while to do that and then regroup. I never was able to do that and I could feel the tension building in me. But anyway, that is how I see detaching from a S. You don’t act angry or cold and refuse to talk. That is totally defeating the purpose and a lot of the LBH’s have a hard time understanding that concept. I hope this clears up a little of the muddy waters.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
