My first SSM thread

[bluerain]

Thanks Bagheera, Im not convinced that we are in a place where I can bring up reading that is aimed towards repair of the M. He might resent it. Im sorry that I didnt bring it up last time he told me that he wanted to work on it, I think that he would have been receptive then. But I can certainly file away your suggestions for the time being. I feel like I might have missed my chance. Right now I dont think that he is very interested in working to fix anything, hes always been quick to give up in other areas of life, so Im not that surprised that its starting to look that way here too.

I live in a fairly small town in Ak, so it can be hard to find a good MC, like I said I havent had very good luck so far. I was thinking that the local churches might have something. Overall, I feel like he left me high and dry. So many times, he basically let me down. And I am very independent, I can take care of myself pretty well, but I want to feel like I CAN count on him when I need to.

I dont think that I mentioned it before, but his latest duty assignment is in Virgina. So all of our communications are via text messaging, or phone conversations. Lately its only been texting. He tried to call me the day that he told me he had been having doubts, but I wasnt home. Since then there have been no phone calls.

I have been getting on fairly well with GALing, I started an awesome new job that H is envious of, volunteering with a local marine animal rescue group, made some new friends. Really, this is an excellent time of my life, shame hes missing out on it!

A lot of those things, most of them in fact, are things that I hadnt thought of in a long time, mostly I just wanted to get them out there for a background, but rehashing all of them did bring up a lot of old emotion.