Just got the kids down to sleep, or should I say they are in bed.
Tonight was pleasant. I went for a workout, then came home and had dinner. W said she and the kids needed to run a few errands and I was happy to join them if I wanted to. The main errand was buying S9 new football and baseball (fall ball) cleats. That's my area, so I went.
W was quite chatty tonight. W was excited about a cake decorating class she asked me if she could take. As always, I said of course. She is really pumped about it. I gave her a stage to talk about it, let her do almost all the talking, maintained eye contact and asked a few questions to keep her talking about it. She really is excited about it (baking has always been one of her loves).
I was following Orich's posts today where Puppy and Gucci chimed in. I came away with the realization that whenever I have acted strongly (such as standing up to my W and calling her out on an important issue where she was wrong), she always ends up acting very positively towards me afterwards.
So, I am going to work on my not giving a cr@p attitude. Call it a flavor of detachment. I still love her (I think) but I can feel that waning a bit. I am still commited to working on the M, should she chose to do that. But, I will not leave my life on hold for her. I have to be my own person, and, as Coach says, choose to thrive, not just survive.
I actually used this attitude some tonight. Maybe it was just my mindset, known only to me. I was happy that W found something she could enjoy. I really am, but beyond that, I don't care.
Not sure if any of this is making sense. I just know I feel pretty confident right now. I still find it strange she can act so nice to me and then retreat to her separate bedroom when it's time for bed. Don't get me wrong, I am not sad, upset, angry. I just find it odd.
Anyway, slow and steady. We'll just have to see where it goes. In the meantime, I plan on having a good time.
