He is lnot seeing an IC on his own but the MC that we have has said he may do some seperate C with us at times. I have went once on my own and I think because of that, the MC said that he wanted to talk to my H 'about a few things'. He didn't go into detail with me but I assume it was about some of the stuff that I had told him during our appointment.
I think that my H is being open and honest in the sessions. When we first started, he could repeat word for word some of the things that the C had said. That told me he was paying attention. It doesn't seem like he remembers it 2 weeks from the appointment though and he is back to his old stuff again.
Tonight, we got onthe subject of his 401K. Bad move, but it happened. I found out that he had stopped the money from his paycheck going into his 401K. He never talked to me about it and that upset me. He said it was his money and I had no right to it. I then said that the D was still pending and that there was an injuction that stated he could not move, sell, or distroy personal marital assets. This of course made him mad.
I ended up saying that I still felt like he did not treat me like an equal in this M, said bye, and hung up. I have not heard from him yet.
Paridise lost agian??? Or never really found???
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
Well things are the same old same old way again. We are arguing all the time about petty stuff like money, chores, kids, dogs, and whatever else comes up.
He was mad at me this weekend cuz I went out with friends, which he knew about, and I did not get home until after midnight. I had seen that he had called but due to me being a bit drunk, I did not pay attention to what time his last call came in. I guess is was around midnight. Anyway, i choose to wait and call him in the morning instead of that late. I got a call about 12:45 a.m. He was mad that I had not called him back.
We ended up fighting. What's new there? I have been upset since then. I don't feel like we are getting anywhere. We are going to the MC on Monday but I am wondering if it is all for nothing. He chnages for a bit then ends up the same old mean person.
Today we fought about money. He told me that I had to buy all the hay this winter for the horses and that after the money that we put up for the gas company is gone then he will not pay for it anymore. I can pay for all of this he says. Well ain't that great!!! maybe I can play the immature game too and tell him to bring his own toilet paper, towles, food, and such with him cuz he isn't going to use what I paid for. Or tell him he can't use any electricity cuz I pay for it. Don't watch TV cuz I pay for it.
This is soooooooooooooo stupid!! I think I am in a slump right now. Feeling down about everything and not sure what to make of it. I am not eating again, I am not sleeping much again. And with the new medical condition that I am dealing with, I don't know weather that is to blame or my M.
I am just a bit depressed. Don't mind me rambling.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
I'm sorry to hear that you were feeling down- I hope today is better for you!
I was wondering how long have you two been going to the MC? Does the counselor have anything to say about your H's backslides? And is he still trying to sneak in the porn?
I hope your medical condition isn't too serious. Take care of yourself, and know I'll be thinking of you.
Medical condition was something that I dealt with 6 years ago and had to have a total hysterectomy because of. Now the same symptoms are back and since I don't have the same 'stuff' anymore, I am concerned as to why I have the same pain and symptoms. I go to the doctor next Monday.
We have seen the MC 3 times together and I have gone once myself. When I went on my own, I was able to tell the C about the backsliding. However since my H was not there, the MC could not ask him about it yet. I assume that will be the main topic for next Mondays appointment.
Since my H takes his laptop with him to work I have not been able to look into his files to see if he is still sneaking. Since he is coming home tonight, I will get a chance in the next few days. He thinks that just by clearing the history that I can't see what he has been up to, but I am REALLY good with computers. I will find it if it is there.
I am not excited about H return home. I know that I should be but I am not. Maybe it's just my low mood right now.
I was cleaning my office and came across the papers that I had printed off with the text messages and the profiles. I should not have read them again but I did and it has sent me into a downward spiral.
I am suddenly rethinking my commitment to make this M work.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
Another ruined time with my H at home. I am so down right now. this sucks beyond anything!!
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
You and me both, Lost. My H had a hissy-fit last night because I wouldn't give him a bj, and he's still pissy this morning. I'm rethinking my commitment also, we have our MC next Thursday. I can't wait to see how that turns out... I hope your weekend goes better!
What an a$$ your H can be. It is the same for my H too.
Weekend started out great. Was doing really well. I was focusing on DB techniques and I was having a lot of fun with my H and my friends.
It all fell apart last night. We went riding all day, we watched a rodeo, we went to the after rodeo party at the bar. I am not much of a drinker, got a bit tipsy and tired and when part of our group was heading back (we took 2 trucks) my H said he was staying and that I could go back. I said no I will stay if you are. After everyone was gone, he asked me why I was staying, I said I wanted to be with him. He called me a liar. I asked why I was one. He said you don't trust me to stay without you do you? I answered honestly and said no.
Guess I should have just lied to him because he got mad. We ended up arguing, I just kept telling him to stop, or drop it, or we'll talk about it later. He would not quit.
I left. I started walking back to the campground (it's 3 miles)!!
I called a freind, her and two other friends picked me up and drove right back to the bar!! Me and my girl friend decided to stay in the truck while the boys went in. I told them not to tell my H that I was outside. My H came out less than 10 minutes later and started in on me again. My friends got into the arguement too and it got heated all the way around for a few minutes.
I decided that I had had enough and that I did not like it that my friends had been put in this position. I started walking again. My girl friend came with me and we walked all the way back to camp. We talked a lot. I told her everything that I had been keeping quiet (because I did not want everyone to know all the horrid details of my stitch) and she could not believe what I was telling her, what I was dealing with, or that I had even given my h another chance.
It felt good to vent with my friend and tell my side of stuff and let someone know what had been happening behind my closed doors. She told me that I could talk to her anytime. That was cool.
Anyway, my H comes in to the camper later on to go to bed and acts like everything is ok. Wants to have sex, I say no. Wants to cuddle, I say no. I really did not want him touching me after the things that he said to me and some of the things that he had said in front of my friends. (He told them that he was positive that I had given a bj to another man, a mutual friend of mine and my friends) He finally passes out and I can get some sleep.
Today, Mr. Nice Guy again.
What a crock of crap that is. Does something to ruin the weekend and then acts like it didn't happen, or that it was no big deal, or that I am the one with the problem.
Serious RETHINKING going on here!!!!!!!!
(This was a long venting post. Thanks for listening though)
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
I read that website and I understand most of it. But What i am not so sure of is weather or not my H can actually admit to his wrong doings and repent it. He has allways said that he won't do this or that again but it seems like most of the time that he ends up doing 'something similiar but it's not the same thing'. Like he slightly changes it so it is not the 'same thing' that he did before.
I am just being quiet around him right now. Have lots of things on my mind and don't really want to talk about it yet.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
