I want to add that if you decide not to snoop and to work on yourself to “outshine” the OM and become the man your W fell in love with…then you need to realize that this is going to take a long time for her feelings about the OM to fade and for her to find her way back to you. Men become so impatient and want to fix everything and it just doesn’t work like that. If you confront her about the A, then there are many risks at stake and you need to realize you are taking chances in her facing her EA and deciding to leave her M. You don’t want the OM to look more attractive in his behavior than you look in yours. You have to let your strength and honor show above your pain. Some men get lost in trying to be the H his W wanted a long time ago and now she’s not responding to all that “niceness” b/c she’s closed her heart to him. It is a difficult road to travel. Only you know which way you can work this. If you know that there is no way on earth that you can function in this R knowing she has emotional feelings for another man, then you need to think about confronting her. But, know the risks and think about all the possibilities that could happen. Don’t end up like this other member did. If you feel that the better way is to work on yourself and give your W some time to see how great a guy you really are and for her to decide that she wants you over the OM, then that is what you need to do. Be careful and think hard before you decide.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
