Well, that went over about as badly as I expected..
So, I handed her the insurance bill, and told her to cut up the gas card as it was canceled.
Her response was, of course, angrily, that I can't do that, that her insurance bill and the gas are my responsibility until we are divorced, and that if I didn't continue to pay them, she'll call a lawyer.
Then she said, fine we will be divorced by the end of this month.
I tried to reiterate to her, that since she had decided to end the marriage, and that was her right, that I had decided to not pay her daily expenses.
She harped on for about 5 minutes straight, why did I choice to say 'She had decided' to end the marriage, and use those words? That that was some how me playing a game on her, or trying to manipulate or control her, or somehow make the end of the marriage her fault.
What the *$(@ does that even mean? I simply told her no, but when she wouldn't stop harping on that line of thought, I just said, fine, then it's just that "I decided not to pay your daily expenses"
She is livid, but just sitting and stewing on the couch.
Man, hope I am doing the right thing, but it feels like the right thing for me to do...
Any thoughts on her going to a lawyer, or if they would see my action as some kind of bad thing?
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Understand that your W is acting like a spoiled teenager who asked to use the family car but was told no. Of course she's mad, and everything is your fault.
I swear, my W must have multiple personalities now. It's maddeningly annoying at times..
So last night after work, stayed for a few at our Friday get together at work, and an old colleague showed up that we used to work with, so we wound up hanging out with him for quite a while, then we all went to a friends house to watch the Yanks and Sox play, which turned into a marathon 15 inning 1am finish. When it was over, I realized I had had too many beers to feel safe driving home, so I just crashed at the friends house to be safe.
7:30 AM, the W calls I didn't get the call at first, but took the voice mail and called her back in about 1/2 hour. I tell her what had happened, but she said, "I don't need to know what you were doing, just wanted to make sure you were safe, and didn't crash the car" so I told her I would be home a bit to take d8 to do some stuff.
The darnedest thing though, is that it was old W on the phone, for sure, she has a different tone, inflection, everything about demeanor that you can pick up even on the phone.
This pretty much about 24 hours after if she could have produced fire or lighting from her eye sockets, I would have been just a pile of ash on the carpet..
Oh well, whatever, not going to even guess what is up with that, but do some stuff today with d8..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Ok Think I will start calling my W, Old W and New W.
Old W just came up to me and apologized for intruding into my privacy this morning when she called, but that she was just worried about me.
Huh????
I replied incorrectly, I believe I should have just said "Thank you"
But I think I was so taken back, that I said, "No need to apologize, as I don't have a problem telling you what I am doing." That's a strike against me.
Well, back up to bat again!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I have a different take on it. Notice how she responded when you acted like you weren't M'd - stayed out - lived YOUR life. I'm not saying to be a jerk, but this appears to have gotten A response from her.
Don't read too much into it. Just make a mental note. Remember, she needs to miss you and be concerned about you. I'm at that same place where I am pulling back from W.
As long as you said this from a place of strength, I think this was dead on correct. You are acknowledging her concern without saying you did anything wrong - and you didn't.
I am pulling back, and would like to think I am b'ing my somewhat skinnier but off.
I am taking d8 to beach, and as a courtesy, I had been asking my W in the past at times when we go out, 'You are welcome to come with us if you want' And she has declined them all. Except today. She is now coming to the beach with us. I had not expected that.
Yikes, I am gonna have to keep my eyes off her in her new bikini.. Well, maybe I'll sneak a look.
However, my plan is to just focus on d8 and I, and watch her having fun!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I am taking d8 to beach, and as a courtesy, I had been asking my W in the past at times when we go out, 'You are welcome to come with us if you want' And she has declined them all. Except today. She is now coming to the beach with us. I had not expected that.
W decides to spend all day with us, first at the beach, then out to dinner, and to get a Gift for my sisters b-day tomorrow.
I kept a PMA all day, gave my W exactly 2 compliments on her looks all day, spend the rest focused on d8 but we talked and laughed at times. I was thinking all day, I get to spend one more day with the women of my dreams. Make me smile as I see guys checking her out in her bikini at the beach. Yep bub, she's with me today, too bad for you sucker. It's my inside joke to myself, they can't know that she hates my guts right now, but yep, I am sitting on the beach with her chumps.
W actually drove us to the beach, but I drove us around the rest of the day in our weekend convertible. Made me think, hey, when she gets the D, I keep the convertible, no more cruising around with the top down, hon. I wonder if she thinks about stuff like that at times. Not worth my time thinking about it.
Well, tomorrow I am going back to mysterious, and doing my own thing. Dim mode on..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
