Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

HHH,

Just have a minute here and skimmed your thread. Couple thoughts off the top of my head:

BF and I are 35 and no kids. I know it seems discouraging that others have kids to tie them together but it isn't necessary. We're not even married so there was no reason for BF to come back except owning the house together. But he did.

I know it can be confusing knowing what to do when advice seems to be contradictory. I had DB coaching sessions which were helpful in assessing the sitch but ultimately was terrible advice for me.

My recommendation on where to start: who is the person your H fell in love with? Were you more deferential then or were you always independent and strong? It seems many of us lose our sense of self when in a LTR. When I started talking to old friends and thinking about who I used to be I realized that I missed that person and started working on getting back to that.

I wouldn't talk to your H's friend just yet. First you need to figure out who you are and what you can do to be the best HHH possible.