I had lunch with Julia today and she mentioned what had happened. We were both so upset and I'm in such shock... The audacity of your H in lying and then making the motion to work on the marriage when you were clearly so happy, taking your away potential path forward (the D) and then continuing his deception. I'm totally disgusted by his behaviour. It is one of the worst examples of WAS behaviour I've ever read on the boards. Hideous. Duplicitous. Weak.
The blood drains to my feet thinking of how painful it must have been to see the evidence before you and to think of the memories you'll now carry around. It reminds me of my aubergine bomb and there's nothing that compares to the insidiousness of that feeling, the kind of acute agony it brings. I literally have no words to convey the depth of my sympathy for what you're experiencing now and I wish I was there to help and offer a listening ear.
In my sitch it was impossible to think of a future or anything other than the shock and horror at the lies when I had confirmation of the A. I don't think I have any good advice other than to focus on one minute, one hour and one day at a time (one day, get it?!). You know where I am and you know that there are men with more integrity in their little toe than your H has in his entire body out there. Better men.
My mom told me in detail what was discussed, he said he had been lying for so long he just couldnt stop. He told me he was seeing her in the evenings, leaving work around 8 and coming here around 11-12. That was back before he got the editor's job. I was complaining for time for us and he was screwing her...
He has been crying to everyone, my mom was mean and very expressive.
I am packing. It will take a while. I am sure I will forget most of the things... K
Maria, there are no words to express my thoughts...I feel so terribly hurt for you. I remember what it was like, finding all of that horrible, shocking, in-your-face proof of the A...it is a complete nightmare that you can't wake up from.
I don't know what else to say to help, but I am thinking of you and praying for you and your kids. Wrap yourself in the love of everyone here, and everyone who cares about you in RL...
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I took a few days off from reading, and I've come back to this, you finding out that your H has been up to his nuts in fluff while prentending to be the perfect father. I can't say that I'm surprised as it was my feeling for a while that there was someone else, but I'm sat here feeling a combination of sadness and anger.
Sadness cos I wasn't there for you and I know how you are feeling now, and anger cos I just want to knock his block off cos I feel your H is being a total ****er. Ok got that off my chest.
I haven't got any specific advice for you, but my general advice would be to look to our good friend John(210) and see how he pick himself up and moved his life on after being in a similar postion.
There is life after being hit by the cluster bomb and I'm sure you will be strong enough to map a way forward.
I wish I knew the magic words to take away your pain and make it all better. Chat with me later if you want, I'll keep a lookout for you. You will get through this.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You know what's wonderful about vacation? Half the time the stuff you forget you don't really need... and you can always find what you need where you are.
I loved what Bworl wrote.
You're beautiful, wonderful beyond words.
*hugs*
Once the question is answered, decisions are made. Live in the present rather than lingering with the past. K.A.S
Hugs to you K. I have been in your shoes. I know it has little value at this point, but I promise you that you will recover. Allow yourself some time to absorb the shock and disappointment, and to grieve. You will pass through the experience in time, your heart will heal, and you will be happy again. As difficult as it is to believe, trust me. Take care of yourself. May you find all the love and support that a community of friends and family provide.
