No it doesn't, and I am in no way try to minimize it. It sucks in ways you can't describe at times.
Don't beat yourself up over that. I still haven't figured out a way to totally be void of all expectations. That is one of the most difficult parts to all of this.
I guess it all boils down to that last line about not having any choice over anything but you.
Then try your best to make that choice based on what YOU honestly want. Don't let pure emotion get in the way. I did many times and it lead to nowhere.
