I am so glad I found this site. My H and I have had a rocky R for a few years due to his detached attitude and my borderline personality disorder. I found myself openly seeking his approval and getting depressed if he would not initiate sex with me b/c I felt he was rejecting me. I have alot of trust issues not because of anything he's done but b/c of my own insecurities with my weight gain due to sever depression. My husband told me 2 yrs ago he wanted us to get conseling but I didn't want to then and that's when I started medication. I thought everything was going fine then July 16th I got home from work and he wasn't there. He normally is home asleep since he works 1st shift. I called every hospital etc thinking something was wrong. Finally 3am he comes walking in drunk as a skunk and gives me the ILYBNILWY speech and says he needs his space.
We have always had issues b/c he puts his son above me but he says it's still not enough he can't be a father and a husband and he's too old to put up with my crap any longer. He's 37 and he says his life expectancy is only 50. I cried, begged, pleaded, bargained everything I could think of. He says he mind is made up and that is it. He said either I move out or he is moving out. We rent an apt and a friend offered to let me stay with her so I left July 17.
Since then I have tried to be civil but anytime I bring up us he says he's not willing to discuss anything- he's already given me his reason's and is not going to change his mind. All he wants to discuss is how to divide up our stuff. I told him I wasn't ready and he told me to quit being so dependant and get ready.
Yesterday while he was at work I went over with my brother and we moved all of my stuff. Part of me feels like a major B!tch fo rcleaning out my stuff without his knowledge but I just could not bring myself to walk trough the apartment with my H and seperate our lives. I just went and got everything that was solely mine and left him everything else. The other part of me is extremely proud that I has the courage to stand up for myself and not let him control how the seperation is going to go. I also cut off any bills that were in my name. So far I have not heard from him. I don't know if that's good or bad. I assumed he would be livid and I would get a email or something.
I really want to work things out but I am so tired of feeling like everything I am doing is wrong and needing his approval. Any advice is much appreciated.