WAW and 4 kids

[pigskin]

I told her that she can't go there since through no fault of her own the OM can choose to show up at the same time and she needs to limit his opportunities to run into her.

I don't know if that follows along with the DB principles, since it seems like you are giving her an order that doesn't seem like boundary setting. I could be wrong, but I think most adults would rebel against that. Obviously she knows that the OM could show there any time -- is she putting her preference of gym ahead of her marriage?

You are correct that my reaction didn't make me look good in her eyes, and likely drove her closer to OM. I have a strong suspicion she called him later to tell him how mad I got and to ask him to not come there anymore. This may seem like a victory, but any contact with him or OM knowing that he got to me is a setback I figure.

Yeah - if you put yourself in the OM's place, he's probably having a laugh with his buddies at your expense. He'll probably make it a point to show up there to prove he's a tough guy.

You can't control his actions, so forget about him. He's a worthless piece of garbage and should be viewed as such.