#65 finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Virtually_Handsome]

Dear Maria!

Of course you are not OK with it! Even if you suspected, being hit in the face with it is going to hurt. We understand!

Pack when you can. Keep breathing. We're here.

[john210]

Cry???? What kind of a man (person) cries in front of their inlaws, their ex spouse and best friend after living a lie for 3 years. After lieing to everyone's face...after travelling with OW and spending quality time that his family was craving!!!!
Crying about what exactly??? About getting caught? About being exposed?
I think I am earning a doctorate in WAS syndrome. I am willing to bet dollars to donuts that in the last three years his attempts at reconcilliation were directly related to the "troubles" he was having with OW. I am willing to bet that now that he has been exposed, he will be making up with her (maybe already done). What a sad excuse for a man....an empty shell...that is what HE is....not you!
Keep your chin up and look ahead....you are guilty of nothing other than trusting the man you married.
Get him to signoff on the financial stuff while his eyes are still full of tears.....do not wait....he deserves to be taken to the cleaners!!!!!

[Kalni]

John,
I hear you. My mom said he said he has told me many many lies, that I am not to blamed for anything and now it is too late to change anything...

My dad told him that they owe me an apology for thinking I may had been doing something wrong, for trusting him and not their child.

My mom got nusty. She asked him if they are expecting and a few other things.

Then FiL called, said he was too embarassed to come over, crying with shame to my parents. A LOT of crying.
K

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Kalni)))))

It's a tiny bright spot.... but he has shown his true colors to the people you care about. You won't have any feelings of tryng to protect him. (I know you don't feel like that now, but I think it could have come later.) You, and now they, all know that you did everything you could. I think your mom might even wish she hadn't made that mean comment the other day!

[girlfromipanema]

Thinking of you, lovely lady. I know it must be excruciatingly painful now, but I am excited that you have such a beautiful, bright future to look forward to. You are a sparkling, lovely, physically stunning woman. You're young, healthy, have a supportive family and beautiful children. All will work out just fine for you.

Your stbx, on the other hand, will be dealing with the mess he created for many, many moons. (I'm having fun with all the dirty, filthy disgusting names I am calling him in my head.)

Sending you all my love and friendship,
R

[Bworl]

Kalni,

I don't really care what he is doing now or how he is feeling. His path was laid out in front of him with every decision he has made over the past three years. I do know from failings of my own in my youth that it is absolutely terrifying when your house of cards begins collapsing around you. At the same time, somewhere inside of him he has known that this day was coming, and he has likely dreaded it for some time.


I'm glad that he never managed to convince you that he was ready to come home. I'm glad that he never completely gave in to the charade that he could live with you and continue to pretend that none of these things had actually happened.


And I'm sorry that you perhaps missed the chance of discovering a true love not so long ago. Perhaps we can chalk it up to the winds of fate, but I'm sorry for you both all the same.


I would suggest that your children should not be allowed to think forever that Mommy and Daddy simply couldn't get along. I imagine they are a bit young to be told more right now, but I do believe that he needs to explain in some way to them that he abandoned the marriage, even if he feels the need to also say that he made a mistake when he did. You simply do not deserve to ever have your children come to believe that you are the one who refused to try to make things work.


I believe it was Alber Camus who said that not being loved is simply a matter of bad luck; that not having ever loved is great misfortune. One we can do nothing about. The other we can always control. It is clear from your posts and your interactions with others that the capacity to love is deep within you, and I know you will have that chance again. As for your husband and the way he has treated you - well, I'm sorry that your luck was bad on that one.


I encourage you to process and feel everything that is running through your mind and heart right now. Let it wash over you, wrestle with it, grieve over it. And when you are done, I encourage you to put it away.



Blessings,

Bill

[mishka422]

All I can say is this.....

Hold your head high. Be proud of the fabulous woman you are and the growth you have experienced through this process. You have every reason in the world to feel that your life will be FABULOUS!

The only suggestion at this point....get yourself and your kids into counseling. I know you said it's not a popular thing there but there must be child psychologists somewhere in Athens that could help your kids cope with this. They can't stay in denial.

Love to you sweet lady.

[AlexEN]

Kalni,

I'm just seeing this now... I can't add to what the others have said... I feel so badly for you; I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are so many here who barely know you, but who care so deeply about your well-being.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this...

Hugs,

AlexEN

[Kalni]

Bill, I apologised to W yesterday. Or maybe today. Dont know anymore. I felt the pain caused because of that man was completely wrong.

Guys, I will be ok. Thanks, I need some processing time. I need to change the focus, I need to see things for what they are. I didnt have time today. But I will be able to in the next couple of weeks, on the beach. I plan to relax, rest, take some deep breaths and I have faith that I will be fine soon. I am pretty sure this time will be easier.
K

[Kalni]

I am sorry I am not checking on anyone at the moment...