When I said it was my only option, I meant that I was becoming a better dad, a better partner, and a better man...all the way around...regardless of anything else.
Yes. I know what you meant. You are correct in the way you meant it. I was nudging you to ask yourself the question of "what if she REALLY is done"? What if she is much happier now without you around berating her? I don't buy what the others are telling you in that she is not happy. She may very well be quite happy. She may be so angry at you that she is going to continue to tell you exactly how she feels about you no matter what anybody thinks. That certainly doesn't mean she is unhappy. One can be unhappy with a particular situation on any given day and still leave it at work or whatever and be quite happy the rest of the day. .....
I do want you to know that you have done a fine job of turning around. I do believe you meant business. I do believe you now truly understand what you did and have deep sorrow. Good job on that front.
My belief is that you have shown complete remorse. You have shown her and shown her that you are sorry and have taken the blame for the way you treated her and that you understand her feelings and anger and disgust. That is all good and correct on your part....
HOWEVER.... She is NOW showing YOU disrespect. At some point you are going to have to earn her respect back by standing up to her way of talking or communicating to you. The key will be in how to stand your ground and still allow her to feel that you were wrong for the past. This isn't a matter of taking the bait, but in establishing a two way level of respect.
Chew on this for awhile. It is NOT WRONG for you to tell her that she is at some point no better to talk to you that way than you were to her. You may then have to stand your ground in a different way, such as cutting off communication until SHE gets your new message. If she shouldn't have to take you talking to her that way (and she shouldn't) YOU shouldn't have to take it from her either. (and YOU shouldn't) Deep down she knows this to be true,but now she is using this as a power play..
Food for thought. You can't "not respond" for forever... It may be the missing link to the actually really getting her respect back.
This will be a test of enormous magnitude for you to pass.
