Long story short, he's tried again last night with the D conversation after he decided he's not sure he can give up certain things in life, like close friendships with other women.
I said if you can't then we are done.
The fight was a lot more detailed than that. He said he had the papers and mentioned AS HE'S SNUGGLED UP TO ME IN BED (WTH?) "I've had the papers for a while and for some reason, despite people telling me to give them to you, I haven't....doesn't that tell you something?" I said "H, you have to figure out what it tells you."
Rolled over went to sleep.
Despite knowing I shouldn't, this morning I asked him "Do you want to divorce?" He said "Are we really going to start our day with this?" I said "I can't go the rest of the day wondering about all of this.....I shouldn't have to anymore....I'm tired....Do you want a divorce?" He said "I don't know." I said "I can understand that. OK."
I'm going away this weekend and he's with S. This will be the FIRST weekend since this all started that he's going to be alone with S. Can you believe that? Did I let him eat cake or what? Man, I'm a schmuck.
But tell you what, we re-tabled some issues to not talk about anymore. I let him open the door to some of those issues, to talk about them again (including OW) because I knew he needed to vent, so I let him but we never properly shut the door on that and blah blah blah. So I shut the door this morning on those issues....esp. OW.
I have IC today. Thank goodness. I need it.
I won't see him until Sunday, when I get back. It's a girls weekend and man do I need it. I think that fight happened a good time so we can have some space, esp. for me without S. Love him so much, but Mommy needs a break.
And Mommy is going to pull waaaayyyyyy back because if she doesn't.....no one's going to be happy. I need a break.
