I am glad you are going to see a L. It really stinks to have to do it, but you do have to. If nothing else it fleshes the reality out and scares away the "unknown" snakes.
Be sure to ask your L lots of questions. You do not have to use the services of the first L you consult if you don't think you connect.
I don't blame you for not picking a Mediator. This is what she wants, let her pick. As I told my H, this isn't what I want and I will do nothing to facilitate the S. If you want it, then you have to proceed. You make the best choices for you and I will make the best choices for me.
It is not my responsibility to make this fast, easy or cheap. But that's just me.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
As I told my H, this isn't what I want and I will do nothing to facilitate the S. If you want it, then you have to proceed. You make the best choices for you and I will make the best choices for me.
Boy oh boy - I wish I'd had the opportunity to say this to my W!!
As I told my H, this isn't what I want and I will do nothing to facilitate the S. If you want it, then you have to proceed. You make the best choices for you and I will make the best choices for me.
Boy oh boy - I wish I'd had the opportunity to say this to my W!!
Mac
No worries. Now you've got it in reserve if you need it in the future.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I take great note of the "if". I pray it doesn't come to that. After all it's only two months of split. W has worked it out befor without much help from me. I pray (again) that she will do it again. Hoping that she doesn't feel so bitter about me being so very much apart from her this time.
My apologies for not finding you on closing night. If you saw a really tall young man leave early, that was my son. If you saw a fuzzy blur looking slightly Victorian, that was me (still in my discreetly 'give myself confidence' audition togs).
Good luck with the lawyer. Go in with a list of questions. If it's the one I recommended he talks a mile a minute, is very perceptive, highly regarded and skilled. Let him know what your objectives are, ask his advice and recommendations on a mediator.
Connecticut looks for an 'equitable' not equal resolution. Career decisions made during a marriage can take a financial toll when the partnership breaks up. Beware of hubris.
How's the funk? Regardless of what happens in your wife's life, it's about facing your own fears, getting healthy within, being able to let go of those weighty boulders that keep you from being the best you you can be. Learning to love yourself.. the incredible guy within.. allows you to experience and share greater love for yourself and others.
Crappy things happen for a reason. Make the most of the learning experience.
Hi, all. Took a few days off the forum. Busy with work. Went to see attorney. Good guy. Sharp. I liked him but it sure felt stomach wrenching to be going through it. Wifey,
Originally Posted By: The Wifey
As I told my H, this isn't what I want and I will do nothing to facilitate the S. If you want it, then you have to proceed. You make the best choices for you and I will make the best choices for me.
I told my wife exactly this about two weeks ago. Summed it up by saying, "I won't resist you, but I won't assist you, either." I think you told me this way back in June, Wifey.
Strong evidence in last 3 days from two sources that my wife is in a PA.
Feeling very detached...and very bummed (if that's not a contradiction).
Just betrayed. Again. Dealbreaker. As if the "deal" wasn't already broken 9 months ago.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
So sorry to hear it Gardener. I do know that there have been people here that are able to lay out boundaries with their WA's and that PA's would be considered an insult. Still, not all WA's will hold to that. Seems many feel entitled to "happiness" regardless of who gets punched in the gut.
In my sitch, I had reason to suspect, but then my H got ED and it became a moot point. H isn't in any hurry to go back to doctor's to figure it out, so at least I know he doesn't have PA. Not that is makes me feel any better, but I have to let it go. I can't force him.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
