I think that LOTS of things are bad for children within a marriage. The perfect scenario is both parents being together, loving each other, showing each other a decent amount of attention, both looking out for each other and the children. My mother and father were married for 26 years. No, not happily. There was no fighting, but lots of quiet times, lots of unresolved issues, lots of problems never being talked about. Everything was under the table so to speak. They might have been together living under the same roof, but it was in no way a normal, loving relationship. They both loved us, but we did not witness throughout our childhood any kind of a normal relationship. Should they have stayed married? Who knows; I really don't know what would be worse, to stay or have left. But I do think that it affected all of us to this day. It is so hard to say what is absolutely best for the children; there is abuse in marriages, verbal, mental, physical...none is good for children to see. And as far as making a marriage a good one, you can certainly tell yourself to try and accomplish that, but try telling your spouse who wants out. But I will say that I respect anyone two people who can do it successfully. Intimacy is important, and the lack of it creates such resentment over time. We all know it isn't just about "sex", but what it represents; to be wanted, loved, and to feel needed and attractive.
