Not a good night last night. H and I got into it again. I was very upset so I took S and left for a few hours. Ended up in Church praying. Arrived home and H says he is going to stop talking to OW (says he thought about what I said etc...). I informed him of the boundaries (i.e. I would need access to all phone records etc...) H not pleased, did not understand. I pointed out what our M was like BEFORE OW and how it was not a problem then. H did not have much more to say.
After that found a picture H posted on his FB page with an Eagles cheerleader (no, i was not snooping, it was for all to see). He wrote a comment to the effect of "Me and wife at Lincoln field. Told wife not to dress so provocatively. Jeez" I am thinking I am over-reacting because it upset me. Here I was at Church praying for our M, our family and for H while he's posting that.
I'm exhausted. I look and feel like I've been run over by a truck. Ugh.
Sorry about your night, Ashlee. I hope things go better for you.
I would not read anything into the cheerleader picture. That seems like something posted "for the guys" and meant to be humorous.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Here I was at Church praying for our M, our family and for H while he's posting that.
I understand the irony and your frustration. You are doing what you want to do. You don't control your H. Don't keep score it leads to resentment. You pray because you want to not because you expect a outcome that you want. Be responsible for your own happiness. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
H just told me that the decision he made last night regarding OW (i.e. he will have no more contact) is NO LONGER his decision and he "doesn't know. I just don't know."
I am sick and tired of hearing that. I am sick and tired of feeling like a d@mn fool.
Just when I start to feel strong, start to move ahead and feel confident, H drags me in with false hope.
I'm angry. Very angry.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
This is getting ridiculous. His non-decision IS a decision, as far as I'm concerned. You need to tell him "Well then I guess I have some decisions to make," and then end all conversation with him.
I'm writing on here because I need someplace to get it out. Otherwise - I will go scream at H. I already let a little bit out. H did not reply which infuriates me more.
Seriously, if I weren't actually living this nightmare, it would be a comedy. Who acts like this? Who just changes their mind about whether they're going to continue with an affair like it not a big effing deal? WHO DOES THAT? Oh, wait, my H, that's who.
H talks out his a$$. Sad, but I just figured that out. It has crossed my mind many times the past few days that he was playing games with me. I'd even comment to that effect and he was so darn convincing that he was not, I dismissed the thought. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Question: where does the shame go the third, fourth, fifth times?
Any great words of wisdom?
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Oh Ashlee.....honey I am so sorry that you are going through this horrible mess. I tried to think of something to say to you, but I kept deleting my posts. Nothing I say sounds right. You are in my prayers and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
This is getting ridiculous. His non-decision IS a decision, as far as I'm concerned. You need to tell him "Well then I guess I have some decisions to make," and then end all conversation with him.
He's playing you.
THANK YOU PUPPY!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. He is playing me. It is ridiculous. It's like I'm a darn pawn.
How did I respond? You know, I'm sitting here trying to remember. I am actually so tired and so mad I can't even concentrate.
I think I first questioned him, said something like "so, you have decided you are not going to stop talking to her?" And H responded yes. I walked away for a few then went back in and rattled off something about it must be some huge joke to him to play with my emotions like he is. I got no response.
Puppy, I don't know. I feel like I just don't know anything anymore. H takes my heart, starts to fill it up then BAM! Crushed again.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
H talks out his a$$. Sad, but I just figured that out. It has crossed my mind many times the past few days that he was playing games with me. I'd even comment to that effect and he was so darn convincing that he was not, I dismissed the thought. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Question: where does the shame go the third, fourth, fifth times?
Any great words of wisdom?
Yes. Don't give him third, fourth and fifth chances.
He'll take you seriously when you take YOURSELF seriously, and not a moment sooner.
Tell me Ashley, what were his consequences for the second and third times he said/did this to you? What have been his repercussions so far?
