It comes down to being wanted, being loved, being respected. When the children are grown, what do we have left?....nothing. She does not respect me enough to meet her end of the bargain, a bargain she struck in therapy. She has no respect for me, and shows it. For the sake of our kids, she could meet some basic needs of mine, and therefore have a much better chance of keeping a man around the house...a happy, contented man, whose happiness now fills the life of his family because he is being respected. DO YOU GET IT NOW? And as for sex.....so, I want sex with my wife?! Big deal!! I must be such a friggin' PIG! If you want to marry a man, and expect him to be monogamous, you will need to satisfy his sexual appetite, within reason. If you don't, who will you want him to have sex with? You can't have it both ways.
Yeah we get chidded, people forget many of these LD break their vows too us to love, honor, and to forsake all others. All others are the job, her mother, sister friends and yes even the children!!! Like I told our MC when she ask what I saw was the problem.I said, that her priorties were all screwed up. How does it help you children for a W to negelct your R for anything else? If you have a strong R then the children while have very good existance. If one of the spouses puts even the children ahead of the Realtionship that spouse is tearing away at the foundation of the R. Cloudnine isn't being selfish because his needs aren't being met, his W is being selfish. This extends beyond sex but includes it. Example, my wife wanted to go to a family gathering and there was a posibility of a siti with her mother and a sister of a nasty confrontation, infact some family members refused to show because of it. I offered to go for support, then a few months later having forgot about my offered I said I didn't want to go. My W reminded me of the offer so I agree I should go. She offered to "let me off the hook" but I insisted I needed to go, did I want to ....no. I went because she needed the support in the situation. Is that selfish of her to "need the support", I don't think so. It would have been selfish of me to not go because I didn't want too. We all NEED TO DO things we rather not for those we love. That is what a PARTERSHIP is about. That means if your wife likes to dance do you dance with her, even if you really rather not no you dance. It also to be crude PUT OUT when you need too. Does that mean you have to do it 3-4 times a day, no. You may not dance the night away but you dance a reasonable amount to make her feel good and she should lay you to make you feel good.
