Corri has a nack for painting a picture, but it seems like an incredibly presumptuous one. Like she has a crystal ball and has it all figured out for me. I can respect the downside of a divorce, believe me. I think about it every single day.
I really am troubled with being accused at this site of leaving because I just want sex. It keeps going back to that, especially in the minds of certain respondents. It comes down to being wanted, being loved, being respected. When the children are grown, what do we have left?....nothing. She does not respect me enough to meet her end of the bargain, a bargain she struck in therapy. She has no respect for me, and shows it. That is what I would tell my kids, when they are old enough to understand it, or better yet, let their mom tell them. For the sake of our kids, she could meet some basic needs of mine, and therefore have a much better chance of keeping a man around the house...a happy, contented man, whose happiness now fills the life of his family because he is being respected. DO YOU GET IT NOW? And as for sex.....so, I want sex with my wife?! Big deal!! I must be such a friggin' PIG! Men need sex more than women, if I may make a generalization. If you want to marry a man, and expect him to be monogamous, you will need to satisfy his sexual appetite, within reason. If you don't, who will you want him to have sex with? You can't have it both ways. I am truly concerned that I will cheat on my wife if this continues. My integrity is on the line, and I would rather leave than get caught cheating and be known as an adulterer. I want a monogamous relationship, but can't seem to have one where I'm at. So, what's the advice now?
This is why I have such trouble with this site. People here don't know me, my relatioship, my character....nothing. Their advice can only be presented thru the prism of their own pain. From what Cathy has told me of her ex, he doesn't deserve the title of *father*. He is a despicable man to me. But, there is probably more to the story, too much for Cathy to lay out for me, or anyone else here. There are nuances to relationships that are impossible to communicate. So, it comes down to the individuals involved, and following our instincts. Is it a selfish decision to leave? Sure it is. But I would hate to make some decision to stay, then have my daughters look at me when I say later to them *I stayed for YOU*, and have them respond...*Why?*. That is a scenario that can just as easily occur.
