Divorce not busted 2

[FaithfulH]

So then which is it?
Love her and detach, but not be cold to her?

Orich,

I think you have the right idea....love her and detach. But, also take heed of the advice you have gotten from Sandi2, Gucci, and others about not being needy and clingy. I have been following your sitch for the past couple of weeks and it seems to me you have WAY too many expectations. Specifically, your expectations about ML are hurting you IMHO. There is NO way that your W is not sensing that from you and feeling pressure. Just because she told you she regrets the letter she wrote does not mean that she is healed. You both have a LONG way to go before you will see how much healing was needed. That does not mean that you cannot have a good R soon....but, I would highly recommend you take your expectations to ZERO about ML, your R, etc. You need to stop obsessing about what you should do WITH her, TO her, or FOR her....focus on you and PLEASE give her space to sort out what SHE needs.