Hey, dmk, whether you send it in writing or say it to him, try to take out ANY hint of feelings. Keep it strictly businesslike...think of how a lawyer might write to an opposition lawyer if they didn't get tangled up in that legal terminology that nobody else understands! Write/talk all you want about your feelings...but NOT NOT NOT to him! And if you choose to say it to him instead of writing, don't let him derail you into discussing R or feelings; just listen and validate and/or calmly and politely keep returning focus to business, whatever he says.

I think we can just about bet that any indication you give about your feelings at this point will, at best, be ignored, and at worse, set him off into craziness, and you may end up hearing about it years later. Not a good scenario.

Just my 2 cents...

Peace,
Dawn

Me 45/H 47, no kids
Together since 1985; M/1992
Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001
Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues
H left 11/24/08
minimal contact, no legal action
http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1